To Win Ugly and to Lose Even Uglier

There is one slight benefit to switching coaches in the middle of the season. The new guy usually assumes control with little fanfare and no great promises. He doesn’t pronounce a sweeping vision for the future, because for all he knows his future might end in December.

In his first game after replacing Kevin Gilbride as the San Diego Chargers’ head coach on Monday, June Jones didn’t need any words to make a statement that had all the boldness of a pair of beige Dockers.

He made it clear that he feels the best way for the Chargers to win games--and remove the “interim” from his title--is to pare the offense down to the minimum. Dare to be dull.

He ran a reverse on the first play of the game, and that was as tricky as he got. There would be no further “tomfoolery,” to borrow running back Natrone Means’ word.

For the rest of the game Jones stuck with the one option he knows will work on this team, handing the ball to Means on 21 of his team’s 53 offensive plays.

Means rushed for 112 of the team’s 168 total yards and scored San Diego’s only touchdown in a 13-10 victory over the Philadelphia Eagles.

Jones all but put rookie quarterback Ryan Leaf on probation, sticking with the simplest pass options he could find and only when necessary. The Chargers threw the ball 19 times, tried to throw six other times but were sacked for a loss of 55 yards, with Hugh Douglas getting four of the six sacks. Leaf completed nine passes for 83 yards. He tried to go deep against single coverage a few times and threw some pretty long passes but couldn’t connect.

This still was seen as a big step forward because, after committing 13 turnovers in his previous four games, Leaf did not have an interception or fumble Sunday.

“The thing he did more than anything was hold onto the ball,” Eagle Coach Ray Rhodes said.

That isn’t much of a compliment for a guy who is paid to throw it.

“We’ve got to get better in the passing game, and we will,” Jones said. “But you’ve got to take the first step and we did. We got through without making any major errors.”

The Chargers are in such a sad state that this is Jones’ only option. It’s not Jones’ fault. It isn’t even the fault of his predecessor, Gilbride--although Gilbride was part of the problem.

It goes higher up, to the guy Charger owner Alex Spanos has said will keep his job no matter what happens: General Manager Bobby Beathard.

Beathard ran off Bobby Ross, the man who coached the Chargers to Super Bowl XXIX. Beathard moved up to No. 2 to draft Leaf and threw him into action, but he didn’t provide him with anyone to catch the ball. Can you even name the Chargers’ receiving corps?

Beathard even let Means get away two years ago, but at least he realized that mistake and signed him back this off-season.

So now the team’s best option is to hope they don’t make any mistakes, and the fans are stuck watching this boring brand of football.

Since the Chargers don’t have anything going on their own they have to resort to stealing from the Padres.

To get the crowd going, they played AC/DC’s “Hell’s Bells,” the song the Padres use when closer Trevor Hoffman enters the game. San Diego fans have become as well trained as Pavlov’s dog, because as soon as they heard those bells they were up on their feet and cheering.

If you closed your eyes, you could pretend it was the World Series.

And if you closed your eyes, you wouldn’t miss a thing.

Because the Eagles were the other team on the field, and boy do they have issues. Half the time they can’t even catch the ball.

They’re a perfect example of what happens when coaches get too much say in personnel decisions. The Eagles have drafted poorly and haven’t retained top players such as running back Ricky Watters. Only 12 of the players in uniform Sunday, including eight starters, had been with the team since 1995. There are college teams that have been together longer than that. With players constantly coming and going--and it seems like most of the good ones are the ones going--it’s tough to build any consistency.

And that comes back to Rhodes’ decision-making. Ray Rhodes the general manager did in Ray Rhodes the coach.

When Rhodes started in 1995 he was so fiery, so tough that he practically willed the Eagles into 10-6 records and trips to playoffs his first two years. It was as if the players decided it would be easier to win than to endure his wrath.

Rhodes is like a toothless dog now. All of the vigor is gone. He barely bothers to cheer takeaways or get upset by giveaways. He doesn’t jump on referees. He even looks smaller.

He spent most of his postgame press conference staring downward. With a 1-6 record heading into the bye week, there isn’t much reason to look ahead. There’s speculation he might not have his job when the Eagles resume play against Dallas Nov. 2.

In contrast, Beathard looked giddy, exchanging handshakes and pats on the back as the final seconds ticked off.

For a little perspective, he might have tried listening to the words of his rookie quarterback.

“It’s one game,” Leaf said. “It doesn’t mean anything right now.”