Can’t Find a Parking Spot? Lie, Cheat, Steal
So it’s come to this? Searching for a parking place in always-crowded West Hollywood, Arthur Steiner circled an area for several minutes before finding a spot. No sooner had he docked his vehicle than a woman in a sport utility vehicle double-parked beside him.
“Do you have a permit?” she asked.
Steiner said he didn’t.
“It’s a permit area,” she declared.
Steiner, who had parked on the street before, pointed out that the sign only restricted non-permit holders to two hours.
“I know,” she admitted. “I was trying to trick you.”
Steiner said it was the first time anyone had ever tried to deceive him into giving up a parking spot. But it probably won’t be the last.
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A HAPPY HOUR FOR HAIRCUTS? Kevin Buck of Santa Clarita came upon a sign that seemed to suggest you could get a drink and a trim at the same time (see photo). Not sure I’d want to risk a shave.
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A WARNING TO BACHELORS EVERYWHERE: Todd Franklin of Glendale noticed that the cost of a one-night stand is now almost $1,400 (see accompanying). Something to keep in mind if you have had too many drinks at the barbershop.
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IT’S NOT LONG ENOUGH TO BE A PAGE-TURNER: Laurel Hall of Whittier entered a short story contest held by the Bakersfield Californian--how come Only in L.A. never thought of that?--and was awarded second place for this tale:
Horrified, she dropped the gun.
Too late.
The awful damage was done. She should never have brought that thing home in the first place! Whatever could she have been thinking of?
Sticky stuff was everywhere.
Wild-eyed, she reached for the phone. She dialed.
“Mom?” she whimpered, “how do you remove hot glue?”
(I told you it was short--the limit was 55 words.)
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BRIEF VERSE DEPT.: Hall’s story (which I read in one sitting) reminded me of another notable piece of short literature, a poem submitted by one Bert Wetzler to the late Times columnist Gene Sherman during a smog siege in the 1950s. Wetzler wrote:
View?
Phew!
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MY APOLOGIES TO THE FASHION WORLD: After this column published a list of notables who attended local colleges, a person named Fay e-mailed me thusly:
“You forgot Christie Brinkley. She attended Cal State L.A. at the same time my son did.”
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PARANOID? A BIT? The Sierra Madre News’ crime log carried this item:
“A man with a gun was reported walking in the 100 block of East Montecito. The responding officers found the man . . . carrying a portable drill.”
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CATCHING TOO MANY RAYS: What can you say about this heat wave?
Phew!
Not to get too poetic.
miscelLAny:
The newsletter for the Elysium Institute, a Topanga nudist colony, says the group plans to hold a Halloween party this year. I guess prizes will be given for the most imaginative costumes not worn.
Steve Harvey can be reached by phone at (213) 237-7083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com and by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, Times Mirror Square, L.A. 90053.