Missouri Case Weighs Gays’ Custody Rights

As their 11-year marriage disintegrated, both Janice and Frederick Joseph DeLong III were having extramarital affairs.

What set this divorce case apart from other tawdry breakups was that Janice DeLong’s affairs were with other women.

In 1996, a judge not only awarded full custody of their children, then ages 9, 7 and 5, to their millionaire-industrialist father, but he also ordered the mother to reveal her sexuality to those she had wanted most to shield: her children.

The judge, on the advice of a custody expert, ordered her to tell her two oldest children, both girls. The youngest child, a boy, was not covered by the order.

Janice DeLong appealed, and Special Circuit Judge Ronald M. Belt’s ruling was overturned. Frederick DeLong then took his case to the Missouri Supreme Court, which is now in a position to decide what rights homosexual parents have in child custody cases.

Janice DeLong is seeking joint custody of her children. Her lawyer, William Rotts, argues in court documents that Missouri’s record of ruling against homosexual parents reflects an automatic presumption that their sexuality is harmful to children.

In her appeal, Janice DeLong claimed that Belt discriminated against her because she is gay and did not fairly weigh the best interests of the children.

The appeals panel ruled that a connection must be established between a parent’s homosexuality and potential harm to the children.

Frederick DeLong, chief executive and majority owner of DeLong’s Inc., a steel manufacturing company, declined to discuss details of the case.

Janice DeLong is a substitute teacher and has income from real estate.

In a 40-page report to Belt, Ken Lewis, the custody expert used by Frederick DeLong, recommended that Janice DeLong disclose her lesbianism to her children in a “telling-session” so they could better understand their father’s negative attitude toward their mother.

“It is unusual, but this is an unusual case,” Lewis said in a phone interview. “Not to tell was continuing to hurt those children; they were totally confused.”