Oh Brother, It’s ‘Family Affair’

“Family Affair,” not the finest example of a domestic sitcom, nevertheless has something in common with its betters, from “Father Knows Best” to “The Donna Reed Show” to “Leave It to Beaver” to “The Partridge Family.”

They can all leave you wondering: Don’t these people have other relatives? Not the relatives that come with the premise of the show, such as an identical cousin in “The Patty Duke Show” or the occasional maiden aunt whom Beaver and Wally visit or “The Brady Bunch” cousin--added to the cast because the show needs a younger kid. I’m talking about the grandparents, great-grandparents, aunts, uncles and first cousins you spend holidays and vacations with, come to the birthday parties and maybe even live nearby.

The “Family Affair” gang takes a couple of episodes to become a family, and once they do, people of their past are pretty much history.

In the first episode (Wednesday at 5:30 p.m. on TV Land), wealthy, carefree bachelor Bill Davis (Brian Keith) and his British valet, Mr. French (Sebastian Cabot), are saddled with Davis’ orphaned niece, Buffy (Anissa Jones). She’s been dropped off by the family she was living with and doesn’t feel she’s wanted by her Uncle Bill or French.

By the end of the episode, she’s welcome, of course, and in the second episode (Saturday at 5 p.m. as part of a TV Land’s “Family Affair” marathon that continues through Sunday at 3 a.m.), Davis has gained Buffy’s siblings--a twin brother, Jody (Johnny Whitaker and teenage sister, Cissy (Kathy Garver)--but lost an overwhelmed French. Without much fanfare, French comes back, and Uncle Bill has a built-in, happy family again.

Despite the fact that these kids have lost their parents (in an accident a year earlier), about the heaviest thing they deal with is Mrs. Beasley falling off a ledge (don’t worry, she’s Buffy’s doll).

It’s an embarrassingly simplistic look at an alternative family, but what do you expect from a 30-year-old sitcom? And, surprisingly, Garver does a pretty good job of conveying the sadness of a parentless 15-year-old who desperately wants to be reunited with her brother and sister.

Uncle Bill, Mr. French, Buffy, Jody and Cissy were all one small, happy family from 1966-71.

DETAILS, DETAILS: What fellow Briton replaced Sebastian Cabot in “Family Affair” for nine episodes while the regular was ill? Answer next week. Answer to last week’s quiz (What current talk-show host played a sleazy lawyer on “Sara”?): Bill Maher.

Set Your VCR

In the last “I Love Lucy” (Friday at 11 a.m. on KTTV Channel 11), Little Ricky is played, as usual, by Keith Thiebodeaux (you see him sometimes on “The Andy Griffith Show” as one of Opie’s friends). But you’ll see Lucy’s real-life kids--Lucie, 5, and Desi, 4, in the crowd scene. It’s the only episode they did.

Fortunately for Lucie, her mom had other shows. She had minor guest shots on “The Lucy Show,” including one from 1967 (Wednesday at 11:30 a.m. on KDOC Channel 56). Later she was a regular on “Here’s Lucy,” from 1968-74, which you can see on weekdays at noon and 12:30 p.m. on KPXN Channel 30.

More family connections: The actress who plays an actress in the episode “Bobby’s Big Break” on “Taxi” (Oct. 1 at 12:30 a.m. on Nickelodeon) is Jeff Conaway’s real-life sister, Michele.