Raunchy? Sometimes, but always informative. Teens with questions about sex are tuning in to get ... : dr. drew’s line on LOVE
The caller is 18-year-old Jasmine, who is having sex with a former boyfriend who is now “just a friend.”
“I’m just sort of confused about it,” she says. “I don’t know what to do.”
It is nearly midnight, but the phone lines are still buzzing on “Loveline,” a nationally syndicated radio show that offers advice on love, relationships and sex--OK, mostly sex.
As Jasmine speaks, “Loveline” co-host Dr. Drew Pinsky listens with the intent look people have when trying to hear what’s not being said.
“He is not involved with you,” Pinsky, known to his fans as Dr. Drew, tells Jasmine.
“That’s what I’m getting nervous about,” she says.
“Jasmine, he is not involved. He’s just having sex.”
“But . . . “
“He’s not involved,” Pinsky insists. “How does that make you feel? Awful, I suspect. And that is the price you pay. You are subjugating yourself.”
Within minutes after the show ends, Pinsky is out the door and on his way home to Pasadena, where the USC-trained internist has a private medical practice and is director of the chemical dependency unit at Las Encinas Hospital, a substance abuse and mental health treatment facility.
If that weren’t enough to keep him busy, Pinsky also co-hosts a version of “Loveline” on MTV. The highly popular MTV program also features comedian Adam Carolla--a caustic and witty co-host who relishes the outrageous--along with newcomer Diane Farr, an actress and model.
There’s a constant sense of urgency about Pinsky. But then, at age 41, he may be the only medical doctor in America that teenagers want to talk--and listen--to. And listen they do. His radio show (Sunday-Thursday, 10 p.m. to midnight), based at Los Angeles station KROQ-FM (106.7), attracts about 2 million listeners nationally. And MTV’s “Loveline” is the top-rated cable program in its late-night time slot, Monday-Friday.
As the voice of medical reason amid a cacophony of bizarre and racy questions and raunchy jokes, Pinsky does not have an easy task. But his reach and influence continue to grow: He has a new book cowritten with Carolla, a magazine column, is developing a Web site and has visions of his own daytime TV talk show.
All this makes Dr. Drew someone parents, if they haven’t already heard of him, should know about.
“I doubt there is anyone in the country more in position to reach out and connect with young people,” says Drew Altman, director of the Kaiser Family Foundation, a nonprofit health organization.
Parents who tune in to the radio version of “Loveline” or watch the MTV show may be a little shocked at the idea that this is the source of information for America’s youth on the delicate topic of sex. With Carolla at the helm, “Loveline” is a raucous event that, at its worst, borders on degrading, and, at its best, provides vital information on sexual health.
“Loveline’s” heavy dose of titillation draws in young people who, Pinsky hopes, will soak up some useful information in the process.
“You put me in a box in a white coat, do you think anybody under 20 is going to hear a word I say?” notes Pinsky.
Letty Ramirez, a counselor at a Los Angeles community health clinic, began listening to “Love-line” at age 14, lured by the fact that “I wasn’t supposed to be listening to it.”
“Me and my little brother used to sneak the radio into my room and listen to it late at night,” she recalls.
After years of tuning in to Dr. Drew, Ramirez, now 23, describes the show’s appeal: “I think kids listen to it because they know Adam is going to say something perverted. But then, they end up learning something. . . .
“Sometimes Adam says, ‘What are you talking about? Shut up.’ But that’s part of their charm,” Ramirez explains. “Dr. Drew then disagrees and says, ‘This is the way it is. . . .’ ”
Keeping Credibility in Eyes of Colleagues
Earning the right to rule over the typically unruly didn’t come easy for Pinsky. It comes after 15 years of practicing medicine and a seven-year stint in which he did the “Loveline” show on radio for no pay. He is now paid for both the radio and TV programs.
Pinsky seems both thrilled with his media stardom and concerned about looking too happy in front of his conservative brethren in medicine.
“The work is having a life of its own, and it’s delightful, and I’m so grateful. It’s a great adventure,” says Pinsky, who is married and has 6-year-old triplets.
With his graying hair, scholarly wire-rimmed glasses, business attire and rather stiff manner, Pinsky is cut more in the mold of Dr. Welby than, say, Dr. Ruth. On the MTV “Loveline” program, he sometimes looks visibly uncomfortable with the subject matter. (Like, for example, when co-host Carolla discusses the joys of masturbation.)
Carolla, however, seems to know when to curb his amusing monologues and let Pinsky dole out some advice.
“Drew likes to be modest, but Drew does this better than anybody else does it,” says Carolla, who has been the “Loveline” co-host since 1996. “And not only is he better than these people [other radio talk show hosts who are doctors] but he’s the genuine article. He’s a doctor. He practices. He’s completely dedicated to his profession. He’s not the ‘Love Doctor.’ He’s not some guy who quit medicine eight years ago and has since been working on head shots and resume and working with publicists. He’s not about that stuff.”
While Dr. Ruth’s credo of the ‘80s was a lighthearted “Go have good sex,” Pinsky’s overarching theme is: Search for intimacy and be cautious about sex. He frequently complains about girls’ lack of protection from men who want only sex.
Sarah, 14, leads off the radio show one night with this concern: “My brother-in-law is constantly touching me.”
Carolla, who often responds to sensitive questions with jokes or insults to lighten the atmosphere, remarks: “That’s totally healthy, isn’t it, Drew?”
Sarah goes on to say that her brother-in-law is 40, that her mom seems unconcerned and that she’s afraid to tell her dad. The pair encourages Sarah to tell her father.
Pinsky: “He’s not behaving appropriately, and it’s not your fault.”
While Sarah’s call is typical of the more serious tone of the radio show, the MTV version seems intent on providing viewers with a good time.
Donovan, 19, is confessing before a national audience that he found out a former sexual partner has been diagnosed with sexually transmitted diseases.
“What are my chances I could have an STD?” he asks.
After having just endured a series of questions on sexual threesomes, untimely erections and the plight of identical twins who have different breast sizes, Pinsky seizes the opportunity to inform.
“We know if someone has one STD, they are more likely to have another one,” he says.
Carolla interjects with: “Drew, can crabs get herpes?”
Pinsky ignores him and goes on.
“If someone has multiple STDs it’s a real worry to me that they could have HIV. It’s unlikely you’ve contracted it. But it’s a rational concern.”
He advises Donovan to get tested, describes the latest HIV test that requires only a saliva sample and discusses the importance of early identification of HIV.
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A Vital Link in Generation Gap
While Masters and Johnson, Dr. David Reuben and even Dr. Ruth Westheimer may have sufficed for earlier generations, today’s youth is struggling with a much different kind of sexual socialization. Although they are bombarded with messages about sex in the media and popular culture, many families still avoid discussion of what constitutes healthy and appropriate sexual relationships.
“I think Dr. Drew is a link between the audiences who watch MTV and people in health care,” says Dr. Thomas Wise, a professor of psychiatry at Johns Hopkins School of Medicine in Baltimore. “He talks about issues that have to be talked about.”
Despite the occasional criticisms that the show debases, most health experts give “Loveline” high marks.
Nancy Sasaki, president of Planned Parenthood in Los Angeles, calls it a “great show,” while noting that many older adults “would like to hear more of Dr. Drew and less funny stuff. But it’s a forum for young people.”
Pinsky insists that he doesn’t pretend to be a sex expert. He prefers to deflect the most direct questions about sex and focuses on issues related to intimacy and relationships.
He uses that approach with Stacy, 20, who calls in to ask if it’s OK to have sex with a 16-year-old friend even though she’s engaged to someone else. Pinsky questions her and draws out an admission that she has a mentally ill mother, has been physically abused and isn’t sure she should get married.
“This show is about me coming to a diagnostic conclusion very quickly . . . and then referring it on to some place where they can actually get treatment,” Pinsky says. “That is not the practice of psychology or psychiatry or sex medicine. It’s general practice. And I carefully stay out of areas where I have no business.”
As his popularity grows, however, Pinsky’s credentials and quality of advice will be of acute interest to his colleagues. Medical professionals are wary of their colleagues in media who claim to have greater expertise than their resumes suggest, says Dr. Marc D. Graff, a Los Angeles psychiatrist.
“Separating who is the expert and who is the loud person is increasingly difficult,” says Graff of medical professionals giving advice on radio and television.
Whether or not he becomes Dr. Drew to the nation, Pinsky says he won’t stop practicing medicine (“I have great disdain for physicians who don’t practice medicine”) or leave “Loveline” any time soon.
“We’re doing something important,” he says. “We’re making a connection with people, and that may be the one opportunity they have to get turned around.”
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The Wisdom of Dr. Drew
Quotes from Drew Pinsky:
On sex and intimacy:
“While I’m willing to talk about sex and not judge it, I’m also telling them you’ve got it wrong. These are not where the answers are. Go ahead, have sex; it’s great, good, fine, go ahead. But if want to know what works for people, that ain’t it.”
On relationships:
“Women want a monogamous, intimate, sustained relationship. It’s healthy. It’s good for humans. It’s good for children. It’s good for men to accept that kind of relationship.”
On listening to young people:
“You can’t impose your ideology on them. You just listen and accept what they’re telling you. You have to do a little interpreting because there’s always some bravado, some narcissism, some rejection of the status quo. But if you can sort of skirt past that and listen to the feelings of what they’re describing, that is where the answers are.”
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