Riordan Is Just an Acting Mayor

One of the busiest actors in L.A.? It’s got to be Mayor Richard Riordan. His Honor, who has appeared in local productions of “Thank You, Jeeves” (as a blustering millionaire dad) and “Love Letters” (opposite Councilwoman Laura Chick), recently made his debut on Nickelodeon.

On the kids’ comedy show “All That,” he popped in a couple of times to hand out silly commendations--congratulating one kid, for instance, on his “millionth use of the word ‘cheese.’ ”

So how did the mayor get the gig?

An aide said Nickelodeon called the L.A. film office and asked if Riordan could guest star. Oddly enough, the network wanted Riordan to play the part of a mayor.

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NO RELIEF: Perspiring--I mean, prospective--actors should take solace from the mayor’s career in entertainment. It has blossomed despite the fact that three years ago, he finished a miserable fourth in the mayoral division of Comic Relief VII at the Universal Amphitheater. Yes, there really was a competition that consisted of the videotaped yuks of mayors from eight cities.

Actually, the best line of that night was delivered by actor Robert Wuhl--a line that came to mind recently when Susan McDougal was found not guilty in her embezzlement trial in Santa Monica.

Wuhl said it’s unjust to criticize the L.A. district attorney’s office for losing high-visibility cases. Noted Wuhl: “They got Zsa Zsa.”

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STILL ON THE ENTERTAINMENT BEAT. . . . Lola Gummere sent along a theater program that hinted at an exciting--and perhaps perspiring--intermission for the patrons (see accompanying).

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EASY FOR THEM TO SAY: A colleague bought a German-made cuckoo clock, which contained these kooky instructions, written in English:

“The chain is come out of the chain wheel if one of the weights is fall down. In this case please wind up the other weights and remove than these. Please remove the top carvings and hold the clock on their head. Now the chain will come correct in the chain wheel. Please don’t use any violance [sic].”

Now that’s funny.

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TIMING IS EVERYTHING: Richard Morse of Palos Verdes Estates wonders why a company would advertise a sale that had already occurred (see photo).

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NAME GAME: A sign on an accountant’s office in Long Beach indicated it was inhabited by A. Noble Fox.

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GUERRILLA COPY EDITORS’ REPORT: Some of the unusual ways of putting together letters of the alphabet in printed material, as unearthed by Only in L.A. readers:

* A for sale notice for a miniature “puddle” (spotted by Ginny Ciganek)

* A story referring to the tall “stocks” of flowers (Virginia Wood)

* A massage parlor that serves a “mail” clientele (Tom Brazil)

* An ad headlined “sewer alert”--for the sale of sewing machines (Don Waldrop)

* An offer from a hotel in Las Vegas that included $25 in casino “ships” (Margaret Engle)

* A sale of a “guilt” bronze candelabrum (Manetta Walker)

miscelLAny:

Ripley’s Believe It or Not is trying to acquire actress Pamela Anderson’s recently removed breast implants to display at its museum in Hollywood. “They would be a part of an exhibit on the strange things people do around the world to enhance their bodies,” said Ripley’s Christy Barnes. Barnes’ job title, by the way, is “Keeper of the Strange and Unusual.”

Steve Harvey can be reached by phone at (213) 237-7083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com and by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, Times Mirror Square, L.A. 90053.