A Word Other Than ‘Forgive’

I wonder if we can find a word besides “forgive” for those who have suffered acts that are truly unforgivable (“To Err Is Human, to Forgive Takes Work,” Aug. 11).

While it is important that victims not live with anger and rage against those who commit heinous offenses against them, neither forgiveness nor reconciliation may be appropriate. Choosing to move on with life, to grow and heal, to leave the past behind are not necessarily equal with forgiveness.

Do survivors of early childhood sexual abuse by a parent who does not acknowledge the wrong need to forgive that parent? I hope that we don’t add to their pain by expecting them to feel empathy toward and forgive the person who perpetrated the crimes.

The individuals who have suffered need to rebuild trust in humanity, in their ability to survive, to move beyond resentment and bitterness. What is the word that describes that process?

--MARCIA COHN SPIEGEL

Rolling Hills Estates