Victim Was No Grade-A Speller

Kelley Messina, a Palmdale teacher, encountered a second-grader who was furious because a boy had called her the “e-word.”

Asked what the “e-word” was, the girl replied: “Idiot.”

HARRUMPH FOR HOLLYWOOD: Lights . . . camera . . .

Cut!

The new Walk of Fame plaque for Joseph Cotten spells his last name “Cotton” (see photo). His original star had been removed during Metro Rail construction. Thus, the star of “The Third Man” will receive a third plaque.

This isn’t the first stumble on the Walk of Fame. Dick Van Dyke received a plaque that said DICK VANDYKE (honorary Hollywood mayor Johnny Grant gave the comic a marking pen at the ceremony so he could do some honorary editing). Roddy McDowall was once misspelled MACDOWLL on a replacement plaque. Katina Paxinou (“For Whom the Bell Tolls”) was renamed KATRINA.

The oddest case, however, involved the star for Maurice Diller, who did not exist. The late columnist Jack Smith exposed the sidewalk crasher. Research revealed the honor was supposed to go to Mauritz Stiller, the Swedish director who discovered Garbo. The Swedish Embassy protested and, before war broke out, the plaque was replaced.

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SPELL CHECK, PART II: The other day I referred to contributor Howard Crawford as “Hank.” A onetime sax man, he said he is sometimes confused with the noted jazz player, Hank Crawford. I wish I could use that excuse, but have to plead the e-word.

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WHAT WILL THEY THINK OF NEXT? Mel Mecham of Playa del Rey noticed an ad for a condo with some refined interior features (see accompanying).

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GET THE ARK READY: Carol Nelson of Northridge received a note from the Humane Society of the United States, which seemed to be suggesting a mass shipment of critters (see accompanying). Actually, “All Animals” is the name of the society’s magazine.

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THEY’RE B-A-A-A-C-K! Every time I return from vacation, it takes a while for my regulars to get back into the rhythm of phoning. I didn’t hear from any of them for a few days. But now my answering machine is again picking up messages from the usual lineup: the guy who phones with a dirty joke (I only listened all the way through the first time--honest), the caller who plays a speeded-up tape of curse words (it’s like being insulted by E.T.), the woman who thinks Bill Gates planted computers in her brain, and the person who attempts to send faxes on my non-fax line on 10 straight beep-filled calls (I’m sure THIS is a conspiracy, but perhaps not one involving Bill Gates).

miscelLAny:

Interruption of traffic by film companies is not new here. In 1927, during the making of “The Jazz Singer,” Warner Bros. had police surround its block-long studio on Sunset Boulevard, according to author Scott Eyman (“The Speed of Sound”). “At a given signal,” Eyman wrote, the police “all blew their whistles, stopping traffic” so one actor could sing in the non-soundproof studio.

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Steve Harvey can be reached by phone at (213) 237-7083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com and by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, Times Mirror Square, L.A. 90053.