Clinton Has Plenty to See in Nebraska

No one can say Bill Clinton hasn’t taken a pounding during his two terms. Getting impeached is no fun, especially if you’re the president. But to report it on the evening news, so everyone could hear about it?

Let’s be fair, people.

Now, the beleaguered president--yes, that gallant man who has the weight of the Free World on his shoulders--is feeling the heat again. Folks in Nebraska have noticed that theirs is the only state in the union that Clinton hasn’t visited. I’m not even sure he’s phoned. That’s like going into a room and shaking hands with everyone, except for the guy in the corner.

Still, my first thought was, like, who cares.

Then I remembered something . . . hey, I’m from Nebraska!

Explain yourself, Mr. President!

No one has been a blinder apologist for the president than I.

I understood the draft thing and the pot thing and even that woman, uh, Ms. Lewinsky.

But it’s pretty hard to understand how someone could hit 49 states and bypass Nebraska. It’s kind of centrally located.

The Omaha World-Herald (my first full-time employer) reported the startling news in a Page 1 story last month. The article began by noting that Clinton had been to Iowa eight times, Wyoming three times, South Dakota four times, Colorado 11 times and Kansas twice.

Uh, not to be paranoid, but. . . .

Nebraska has been a state for 132 years and only two other presidents--Garfield and Harding--skipped the state while in office, the World-Herald reported. And both of them died in their first term.

But even in comparison to them, Clinton looks bad.

Garfield didn’t have Air Force One to fly around in.

And Harding at least passed through the state by train. Unfortunately, it was while dead and riding in a funeral train, which, contrary to what you may have heard, is not the best way to see the state.

Clinton has no such excuse.

Some have suggested that Clinton wouldn’t be welcomed in Nebraska, citing the state’s paltry support for him in his two presidential runs. The state’s too Republican, they say.

Having spent my first 27 years there, I can only say, “Pshaw.” During Clinton’s tenure in the White House, the state has elected a Democratic senator and Democratic governor.

Nebraskans look beyond cheap political partisanship. As a friend of mine is fond of saying of himself and his family, “We’re just good people.”

Who could dispute it? You won’t find warmer, more congenial and understanding people anywhere in this country--except on those Saturday afternoons when the Huskers are losing late in the fourth quarter. Then look out.

If I know my state, and I do, Nebraskans would love to have the president stop by for dinner, even if it’s unannounced. My relatives used to do it all the time, and we never threw them out.

Oh, there is one grouch, apparently. The state GOP chairman responded this way to the World-Herald about Clinton’s no-shows: “This is a unique honor, and one we richly deserve. This makes us the luckiest people in America.”

Don’t worry about him, Mr. President. As we say back home, he just has his underwear in a bunch.

Please, Mr. President, visit my state.

Go see the Sand Hills and the migrating cranes.

Go see the Mutual of Omaha headquarters.

Go see Warren Buffett’s house.

But if it’s an “event” you need, consider these:

Throw out the first pitch at the College World Series in June.

Throw out the first snowball in October.

Throw out the last snowball in April.

Go say hi to the folks in my old hometown of Marquette (pop. 200).

Or, if you really want to be popular and ensure that you’ll be invited back, award the Huskers a national championship trophy in January.

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Dana Parsons’ column appears Wednesday, Friday and Sunday. Readers may reach Parsons by calling (714) 966-7821, by writing to him at The Times Orange County Edition, 1375 Sunflower Ave., Costa Mesa, CA 92626, or by e-mail at dana.parsons@latimes.com.