Section Gee! Advice, Humor, Comics, Horoscope, Kids : LAUGH LINES

Off the Campaign Trail: Amid rumors that George W. Bush used cocaine in his youth, President Clinton said he had never done cocaine. “Actually what he said was, ‘I did not have nasal relations with that drug.’ ” (Jay Leno)

Speaking of Clinton: At a fund-raiser, the president reminisced about meeting Hillary. “He told the crowd that after they made eye contact, she walked over to him, introduced herself and shook his hand. He knew at that moment that this was a woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life cheating on.” (Leno)

In the Forecast: Hurricane watchers are keeping an eye on a series of storms. “It’s the Weather Channel’s equivalent of sweeps week.” (Daily Scoop)

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The Essential

David Letterman

Top 10 ways the world would be different if the numbers one through nine did not exist:

10. Casey Kasem would have a lot more free time.

9.

8.

7.

6.

5.

4.

3.

2.

1.

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