Application Essays Offer a Chance to Stand Out
I hit 1,000 this month.
That’s not a batting average but the number of college application essays I’ve read over the past 12 years. Obviously, many bright students get into college strictly on their “numbers” (SAT score and grade-point average), but for some borderline applicants, essays can be a deciding factor.
It’s hard to explain why one essay works and another leaves me cold, but I finally know why some students come alive on paper and others disappear. And judging from who gets accepted and who doesn’t, a lot of my instincts are similar to those in the college admissions business.
Most applications for private colleges and are due the first week in January; hence, students are scribbling away at essays this very moment. Although a few schools, including the University of Chicago, have come up with creative topics (“Create a one-page screenplay”), the majority focus on the same old prompts: “Tell us about yourself and your interests”; “Discuss a recent project you’ve completed that you’re proud of”; and “Tell us what you would add to our campus.”
In addressing topics like these, most students tend to play it too safe.
Fearing anything that might make them seem too different, they get lost in generalities--writing about interests such as spending time with friends, disliking mean people, enjoying the beach, loving animals, wanting peace and taking time to smell the roses. Noble ideas, all of them, but almost anyone could put his or her name to that essay.
The girl who wrote about the lessons learned from her Japanese grandmother had something unique to say. The boy who didn’t make the varsity basketball team gave a twist to an old story. Granted, no one wants to come across as weird, but there’s a big difference between weird and interesting.
Because these essays are going to colleges and universities, many students feel they have to “sound smart,” but unfortunately, it can lead to some very awkward writing. When I see a 17-year-old using phrases such as “it behooves one,” “exceedingly onerous task” or “it is incumbent upon all of us,” a red flag goes up. Students are better off sticking with a vocabulary and writing style that they’re comfortable with. Rather than superficially discussing a lot of interests and abilities, a good essay focuses on a few.
A boy in my class several years ago, in response to the “favorite project” question, wrote his entire essay about restoring a ’68 Mustang. The reader could easily observe his patience, his ability to concentrate, his mature judgment and even his sense of aesthetics. It seems hard to go wrong zeroing in on one’s passion.
Perhaps “passion” is a key word here, because nothing can beat authentic emotion. Not an essay full of melodramatic cliches, but genuine enthusiasm about the world. Nothing is more discouraging than a bored, cynical teenager. In contrast is the young lady in my class who is crazy about Shakespeare’s sonnets, tries to find enough hours in the day to practice the flute and can’t wait to take an anthropology class. There’s excitement about the future, but also engagement with the present.
The best essays are almost embarrassingly truthful. There is no attempt to flatter or embellish. If a student joined a club because she thought it would look good on her record, she doesn’t pretend otherwise. If the real reason for being a part of student government provided a better chance to meet cute girls, the boy admits it.
Last year, a senior boy wrote his essay on surfing. No, not about mastering waves in Hawaii, but rather on a series of humiliating defeats much closer to home. By the time he finally stood up and rode a modest 3-foot swell at a local beach, it might as well have been at the North Shore.
That story leads directly to another observation: The best essays aren’t always about big topics.
A lot of high school students may feel suburban life is pretty tame, that there isn’t enough drama in taking five classes, being vice president of the Spanish Club and working at a yogurt shop. True, it’s going to be hard to compete with the kid who did cancer research his sophomore year, but the smaller achievement can also yield a moving essay.
Another girl I will never forget wrote about what life is like with someone who has Alzheimer’s, in this case, her grandmother. The essay simply covered one unremarkable day, but it brought me to tears.
Which brings me to my final point. The personal essay is a student’s one chance to break free of the numbers and statistics that make up so much of today’s college application. Here is an opportunity to show some unknown admissions officer who Social Security No. 555-12-3456 really is, what 3.87 GPA truly cares about, and where 1180 SAT score goes every August.
Because no matter how accurate such numbers are, they’ll never show what’s inside the heart. Maybe nothing really can, but an honest personal essay can come close.
