This Is Crazy, But You Be the Judge
An item here about defining moments on the witness stand prompted Kent Bridwell to write about an unusual case he handled as a Superior Court commissioner.
It involved a man who claimed he had not understood what he signed in a real estate transaction because it was conducted in English. He said he had never learned to speak or read the language in the 30-odd years he had lived in the L.A. area.
The man testified with the aid of an interpreter. At one point, Bridwell wrote, “I turned to speak with my clerk. The sleeve of my robe brushed my pen off the bench into the witness box. Without thinking (honest), I asked the man--in English-- ‘Sir, would you please hand me my pen?’ And without thinking, he replied, ‘Sure, judge, just a second.’ ”
SOMETHING DOESN’T LOOK RIGHT: Suzie Lacey sent along an ad that seemed to have escaped the attention of a proofreader (see accompanying).
YOU CAN SAY THAT AGAIN: In our Department of Redundancy Department, Peter Tigler cited a company that has an anniversary sale--get this, annually!--while another reader found a rental unit that is . . . for rent, of all things. (see accompanying).
PL8S4U: Some vanity license plates featured on the KNX1070.com Web site, along with the owners’ translations:
* 2XCONS: “My girlfriend and I moved here from Connecticut” (Gary Mineo, Murrieta).
* JAGAROO: “I am originally from Australia and I drive an S-type Jaguar, so my mode of transport is a cross between a Jaguar and a kangaroo” (Julie Bonnar, North Hills).
* B4YORII: “I am a professional magician, and much of what I love to do is close-up magic right ‘before your eyes’ ” (David Hoag, Placentia).
* REDWOP: “Redwop is the name of a special red fingerprint powder I make for use in investigations of crime scenes. It is used with lasers. . . . Also, my plate spells ‘powder’ when seen in a rearview mirror” (Michael Carrick, Salem, Ore.).
* IM1CENT: “My name is Penny” (Penny Stark, Oak Park).
A COLLECTION PLATE OF SORTS: The convention of the six-county L.A. Episcopal Diocese was the scene of the first speech of the Very Rev. Jon Bruno since he had been elected bishop.
In the back of the hall at the Riverside Convention Center, delegates started a pool ($5 entrance fee) to see who could come closest to predicting how long Bruno would talk. He spoke for 22 minutes.
The pool’s winner? The Rev. Gary Hall of All Saints Episcopal Church in Pasadena--one of the priests whom Bruno defeated in the election.
No one tells the bishop how long to speak. Especially when the bishop--like the 6-foot, 4-inch, 279-pound Bruno--is a former lineman for the Denver Broncos.
UPLIFTING STORY: Hollywood community activist Joe Shea made the acquaintance of an elevator repairman who knows how to make an entrance.
The technician said he had been doing maintenance work when some passengers became stuck in an elevator on the floor below him. He lowered himself onto the top of their cage just as someone inside was punching an emergency button on the squawk box and yelling, “We’re stuck in the elevator!”
He promptly lifted up the access hatch, peered down and responded, “No you’re not! Spiderman’s here!”
miscelLAny:
Isolated just in time, with Jan. 1 so close: A colleague spotted a green Volkswagen on Pico Boulevard with the license plate AY2KBUG.
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Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LATIMES, Ext. 77083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, Times Mirror Square, L.A. 90053 and by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com.