Cheerios and Other Potty-Training Tricks

You learned you were having a baby. So you read all the books, watched all the videos, took all the classes to master the challenging job ahead. But you found the best answers usually came from--other parents.

So, now that you’re a parent-expert too, we asked you about the secret of successful potty training. Here’s what you said:

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For young boys, throw a few Cheerios in the toilet and let the child “shoot ‘em!” Works best if dad demonstrates. My son was potty-trained before age 2 with this method.

--Richard Tetu, Altadena

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The secret of successful potty training is--cloth diapers! I have three daughters, 9, 7 and 7 months, and the first two were potty trained, day and night, at 24 months and 22 months.

The fact that a cloth diaper feels uncomfortable when it’s cold and wet had a lot to do with my success. What motivation does a child wearing a plastic diaper that “keeps wetness away from baby” have in changing what works just fine? Sometimes “modern” is not necessarily “better.”

--Lisa Goldman, Mission Viejo

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Potty training getaway:

(1) Locate 4-year-old same-sex cousin or admired 4-year-old family friend.

(2) Go away for four-day weekend with cousin and his or her family to condo resort where families live together and kids share bathroom.

(3) Ask 4-year-old to take your kid with him or her every time he or she visits potty. (This step isn’t necessary, as your child will follow older child everywhere.)

(4) Bring package of cool superhero / heroine underpants. Let older child give undies as gift to your child.

(5) Pour champagne. Watch nature.

--Brook Dougherty,

Pacific Palisades

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When my children were around 2 1/2, I removed the diaper from each one, and we spent two days using the potty. With attention, praise and motivation, that was all it took. When they could go 10 nights dry, they could switch to panties at night.

My best tip: Never use pull-ups. They feel like diapers and send the message to the child that is it OK to make mistakes.

--Laura Peters, Studio City

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I filled a jar with the largest, most colorful jellybeans I could find at the candy store. I told my son he could have as many jellybeans his little hands could hold every time he made a deposit in the potty.

I made it fun for him. He loved looking at that jar of jellybeans.

--Deborah Morrisette, Encino

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What doesn’t work--I was a psychology graduate student when the famous B.F. Skinner was proving that you could train any pigeon or rat (or 2-year-old boy) to behave any way that their anatomy would permit. The Skinner principle was: Give him a reward (cookie) for every successful approximation to the desired behavior.

The result: a sweet, cooperative little boy sitting on the toilet, not “producing” anything, but calling out, “More cookies,” every few minutes.

--Jean Holroyd, Los Angeles

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Have you ever seen a UCLA graduate still in diapers as they accept their diploma? Like everything, potty training will come when the child is ready. If a day-care provider pushes the issue, then ask yourself, why? Remember that, like everything with parenting, be consistent. Potty training takes time and effort on everyone’s part.

--Stacy Wasserman, Oak Park

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Wait until the summer after your child turns 2 or 3. Light summer clothing makes frequent changes easier.

Also, be sure to carefully consider the advantages of having a potty-trained child. It’s oh-so-pleasant having an almost 3-year-old child tell you that he or she has to go now when you’re stuck on the freeway in rush-hour traffic miles from home.

--Joan Stein, Los Angeles

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As the mother of two girls, here’s my experience:

First girl, at 2 1/2, went to visit my mother for a few days and came back completely trained. I never asked how.

Second girl, age 2, I found in the bathroom with her diaper around her ankles trying to crawl up onto the toilet seat, with a determined look, saying, “I not wear diapers anymore!” She never did.

--Muncie Marder, Tarzana

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Personally, I think the solution is a “training camp.” The parents drop the kids off, and a professional takes care of it.

Heck, we do it with ice skating, horseback riding, karate, gymnastics, and arts and crafts--why not this?

--Jenny Bioche, Newport Beach

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The next question: Almost everyone agrees that too much TV is just plain bad for kids. But how in this multimedia, TV-in-every-room, multichannel world do parents control TV watching? Do you watch with the kids, establish a favorite-shows-only rule, set some limits, forbid it altogether or not worry since you watched TV too? Tell us, please.

Please share your strategies with us in 75 words or fewer by Friday. Each Monday, we’ll ask a new parenting question, and publish responses on a subsequent Monday. Send to Parental Guidance (PG), Southern California Living, Los Angeles Times, Times Mirror Square, Los Angeles, CA 90053; e-mail socalliving@latimes.com or fax (213) 237-0732. Please include your name, hometown and phone number. Submissions cannot be returned. No telephone calls, please.