Presents: For Better or for Worse

We asked readers to tell us the best and not-so-best wedding gifts they received and, good gracious, did you former brides and grooms respond. There wasn’t a single toaster oven in the bunch, which tells us that perennial wedding gift must fall somewhere in the middle, but let this article also serve as a guide to those of you who will have to cough up a wedding gift: Whales are out and wedding-night house guests are in.

Here now, a sampling of the best and worst:

More than 200 people attended our wedding in May 1984. Some gave money, most brought gifts. I remember two gifts in particular. We received an expensive silver chafing dish from a friend of my father and thought it was absolutely exquisite. We also received a self-sharpening knife from my husband’s aunt. Big deal, I thought selfishly. What did this cost? About 15 bucks? It turns out we have never used that expensive chafing dish, but I have used that knife about every day for 15 years! Which was the best? I don’t have to tell you.

MARLA BAKER

Downey

*

Twenty-five dollars’ worth of something called Technology Fund? I was certain my new husband’s uncle had an inappropriate understanding of the concept of “wedding gift.” It was 1960 and no one I knew had even heard of mutual funds. The other gifts either tarnished or broke, but the latest statement shows that Jack’s gift has increased in value to $2,300. Best gift? You bet.

SUSAN NEWELL

San Diego

*

The best wedding present I ever received was when my father finally flew out from Iowa to walk me down the aisle. I was living in Los Angeles at the time and it was quite expensive for both my dad and mother to make the trip. The worst wedding gift was three rabbits that were given to us. We were supposed to pick them up at a cousin’s farm. We never did.

JOAN NISSEN

Burbank

*

My worst wedding gift was from a bachelor client of my husband’s, who also invited himself to our wedding. He gave us a brass burglar chain for our door.

JEANINE SHEEHAN

Los Angeles

*

We were in love, but our country was at war 55 years ago and all dutiful young men were defending their country. My hero was away with the Navy. Our plans to marry were postponed until he had a few weeks’ leave. It finally worked out for us--on very short notice. Guests were invited by telephone. No time to order invitations. Our guests had little time to search for special wedding gifts. During wartime it was difficult to locate domestic items of quality, but linens were on the shelves. It mattered not to me. I had my wedding and my hero. One guest gave me a beautiful ochre lace tablecloth. I have treasured and used this cloth all these years.

HELEN M. McCOLL

Oxnard

*

My mother pulled it out from her cupboard so that I could put it in ours. I didn’t mind at all that it had been used. In fact, I relished the thought. The heavy green pan with the airtight lid had been filled with many of my mom’s memorable meals--from Grandma’s Chicken and Spaghetti to Roll ‘Em Over Pancakes. When I make these same recipes today, I feel like I’m carrying on our (delicious) family history.

JANET KRAUSE JONES

Manhattan Beach

*

As my husband and I opened wedding gifts, I found one that was plainly wrapped and unmarked. It was a very basic Betty Crocker cookbook. When I first saw it, I was disappointed and thought it might be a joke. But I have used it more than any other cookbook I own. I’m just sorry I haven’t been able to thank the giver. So it turned out to be the best--and the worst--gift.

JESSICA HARBERT ERVIN

Los Angeles

*

My wife and I got married in a civil ceremony first. We did that because I grew up with the idea that it was wrong for me to live with someone and not be married. We got nothing at the civil wedding but took everyone to dinner. Most of my family was unable to attend because they live in Utah, so we arranged for a ceremony there around Christmas. But because we were of different faiths--Mormon and Catholic--we got no respect. The gifts were all terrible. We got some dish rags (just what we needed) and a flashlight that was useful during the earthquake. But after nine years, we are still together and happy. That is the best gift of all.

MEL CHANDLER

Encino

*

The best wedding present I ever received was my husband.

CASSANDRA CHANDLER

Encino

*

Our best wedding present was a gift certificate from Home Depot. Several families had pooled their money and so the gift certificate was a substantial amount. We bought a Rototiller with it. Every time we use the Rototiller for our vegetable garden, flower beds, etc., we are reminded what a great gift it was. And every time a family member or friend wants to borrow it, we tell them to be careful--it was a wedding gift!

JANNA K. ROZNOS

Whittier

*

The best wedding present I ever received was given to me by my husband on the way home from Niagara Falls, where we went for our honeymoon. He stopped about halfway home at a farmer’s stand and bought a bouquet of gladioli. He has done this for the past 48 years. No matter what country we are in, he manages to come up with them.

DOLLY M. BOULTON

Los Angeles

*

The worst wedding gift we ever received was a set of electric plate warmers. It looked like a vinyl accordion of electric blankets. Years later we put them on a garage sale table and watched people try to figure out what they were. I do have to say, this gift did provide us with many laughs, and I’m sure Goodwill had fun with them as well!

VALERIE TIPPY

Santa Clarita

*

Best Gift: A four-day vacation to a “surprise” destination, for my husband and me. After we decided what days we would be able to travel, a friend gave us a sealed envelope that we could not open until we were in a taxi cab heading to the airport. Once on our way, we opened up the package to find plane tickets to Monterey, a guide book, and details for our all-expenses-paid trip to the Ventana Inn, Big Sur, rental car, the works.

CHRISTINE CUDANES

Culver City

*

We were married in Woodland Hills in 1985 at our home. The wedding started at noon and lasted into the wee hours of the next morning. One of our guests came in from San Diego and didn’t have a ride back until the next day. We insisted that she stay with us, and she insisted that she couldn’t stay on our wedding night. We made up the fold-out sofa for her and we turned in. The house was a complete wreck, but we left it. We slept in the next day and when we got up, the house was immaculate--vacuumed, dishes washed and put away, flowers arranged, furniture put back where it belonged, and the gifts in a neat pile ready for us to open. Our fairy godmother had flown the coop! That definitely was our best wedding gift.

KYLE PARR SYKES

Woodland Hills

*

A friend turned me on to this cool Web site where my guests could RSVP, see wedding pictures and buy gifts. Well, my brother, the techno geek who hates shopping, took advantage of this site and got us the best wedding gift possible: two brand-new bikes for our mountain-bike honeymoon in Baja.

JANIS and JOHN HUGHES

Marina del Rey

*

Maybe not the worst, but certainly our weirdest wedding gift was a brown leather whale--about 2 feet long, blue beady eyes, no mouth. The tail curved up and twisted off; a glass decanter was inside. It came from my husband’s Aunt Gert. I’d only met Gert once, at a dinner party in her home during which my husband-to-be had a long, angry discussion on the Vietnam War with one of her neighbors. (This was the early ‘70s.) Perhaps the whale was Gert’s revenge. We had no room for it in our tiny row house and besides I just didn’t want it. We put it on top of our garbage can, thinking someone might take it. My husband joked that it would make an excellent cosh and that he wouldn’t be surprised if someday the police knocked on our door saying our fingerprints had been found all over a murder weapon. There was a knock on our door the next morning. The garbage man, carefully holding the whale, asked if we really meant to throw it out. The expression on his face made it clear he’d found a treasure.

DEBBIE PURCELL

Los Angeles

*

The very best wedding gift I received was one my husband had gotten from his father. It’s continued to fit while our marriage has changed and grown. After almost 20 years, it’s still in excellent condition; so good, in fact, that five years ago we decided to share it with a baby daughter. It fits her too. The gift? His last name. (His grandfather picked it up on Ellis Island.)

CAROLINE SHOR HARRISON

Los Angeles

*

As we opened a huge wrapped box, filled with “popcorn” packing, we started digging and found $1 bills, more “popcorn” and more $1 bills. We carefully went through the box making sure we got all the money! At the bottom of the box was another surprise: an envelope containing a jigsaw puzzle! After putting this puzzle together we discovered that this was the present we had been dreaming of. A microwave oven!

SUZANNE and

LARRY EHRMANN

Los Angeles

*

The worst wedding present we received was a check for $20 from my wife’s down-on-her-luck colleague. Needless to say, the check bounced and we had to pay a bounced-check fee.

LESLIE and JILL HERSCHLER

Garden Grove

*

My mother . . . bestowed upon us a very large reproduction of the famous “Dogs Playing Poker.” Not only was it “beautifully framed and matted in hunter green to go with your new living room set” (she said to me as my jaw hit the floor with disbelief), “it’s in 3-D!”

DOROTHY URRUTIA

Alta Loma