Mona’s World

Dolly: That b-ewe-tiful Scottish clone. Perfect for a meadow wedding, a simple bleated skirt, in wool, of course. Short enough to show off her shapely hooves. The comely clone will always be true only to ewe and ewe and ewe.

Monica Lewinsky: A true American beauty. A wedding extravaganza second only to the, well, you know, other historical event. A bustier depicting the presidential seal in gold embroidery sets of a peplum and skirt in Starred and striped taffeta. A dress sure to set off fireworks.

Martha Stewart: Necessity truly is the mother of invention with this useful and tasteful gown in stone-washed denim (that can be made into great place mats and matching napkins at a later time!). The brilliant and elegant bouquet is totally edible and should be served with a moutarde dressing. Of course, the train is a stunning statement in silk chiffon, set off by a great curtain rod found in an old barn in upstate New York. And, to top it all off, a marvelous hat. Who says you can’t wear your cake and eat it too?

Cathy: The “I think; therefore, I am” gown. Cathy imagines herself as the svelte, tall and perfectly proportioned woman she dreams of, in this slimming gown of duchesse satin. With a veil to add height, and a simple bouquet to bring attention to her whippet-thin waist, she is destined to become the next cover girl for a bridal magazine.

Oprah: Our No. 1 talk show queen, always outpacing herself in this hot, chic and completely understated running-cum-wedding outfit. In white spandex with a pink pinstripe and matching running shoes, Oprah is sure to stop traffic. Nestled in her bouquet of Phalaenopsis orchids is her microphone, for one never knows who will be interviewed along the way!