Working Fathers Slowly Winning the Silent Struggle for Family Leave

There were snide comments and many, many jokes. And when Maryland State Trooper Kevin Knussman won his four-year legal fight last week against the bosses who denied him parental leave, only a couple of colleagues called to congratulate him.

Knussman’s victory highlights the rights of working fathers to take time off with their babies. But his isolation shows how balancing a job and a family remains a silent struggle for many men.

“Much of the progress [for working fathers] is still going on underground,” says James Levine, a leading researcher on fatherhood and co-author of the book “Working Fathers.”

Fearing--often with reason--that they’ll be labeled slackers, fathers cobble together sick days and vacation time to create leave time after a baby is born. When they want to go to a school play, they dash for the door under cover of attending a “late meeting.”

Progress has been made, albeit slowly, in accepting men’s growing desire to be involved parents.

Asked 15 years ago how much unpaid parental leave time was reasonable for men to take, 63% of business leaders at large companies said “none.” Even 40% of executives at companies with a parental leave policy at the time nixed the idea of actually using it, according to Catalyst, a nonprofit group that studies women in business.

Today, half a million men take some sort of parental leave each year to care for a new child, under the auspices of the 1993 federal Family and Medical Leave Act. That compares with 1.4 million women.

About 20 million people have taken leave under the federal law, which says all employers with 50 or more workers must allow up to 12 unpaid weeks off to care for a new baby or seriously ill family member.

Knussman, a helicopter paramedic, sued the state police after he was denied 12 weeks of leave after the birth of his daughter in 1994. He was given 10 days off, but sought more time because his wife experienced childbirth complications.

On Tuesday, a jury awarded him $375,000 in damages for mental anguish, in the first sex discrimination case under the Family Leave act. Attorneys for the state police said they may appeal.

“There’s still a presumption that women are going to be the primary caretaker,” said Sara Mandelbaum, an American Civil Liberties Union lawyer who represented Knussman. “Those attitudes are hard to change, especially in a male-dominated organization like the state police.”

Knussman is glad he took a stand. After he filed his suit, the state police gave him a full 12 weeks off after the birth of his second child.

“Biting the hand that feeds you is never easy,” he said by telephone as his daughters giggled in the background, but taking three months off was “just a great, great time. I will never, ever regret that.”