Rating Brains, Feet of College Students
No one questions the academic credentials of Caltech. But in “The Best College for You,” a Time magazine / Princeton Review publication, the fun quotient at the school seems low. Consider these remarks from students there:
* “Caltech needs women. Women! Please come here! There are a lot of guys with really big . . . brains.” --Alex S.
* “Unless you are totally committed to science, do not come. Caltech has as much breadth as a Russian grocery store.” --Daniel S.
* “For fun we . . . I’ll get back to you on that later. . . .” --Jamie W.
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A FOOT FAULT: I doubt that many nerds will be discouraged from attending Caltech by the above evaluations. But in Pomona, Claremont McKenna’s recruiters can’t be happy with a quote in the publication from one of its (unnamed) students:
“My roommate’s feet really stink.”
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FAME BUT NO DIPLOMAS: Also on the newsstands is the Newsweek / Kaplan guide, “How to Get Into College,” which reveals some famous dropouts. They include Gwyneth Paltrow (UC Santa Barbara), Steven Spielberg (Cal State Long Beach), Robert Redford (University of Colorado), Madonna (University of Michigan) and Harrison Ford (Ripon College, Wis.).
Actor Robin Williams attended Claremont McKenna before transferring. The guide doesn’t say if Williams left because of his roommate’s hygiene.
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THE WEIRD WORLD OF ANIMALS: Only in L.A.’s latest special edition (see accompanying) offers you a “cat brush” for dogs (submitted by Chris Roberts of L.A.), a cleaning service that specializes in creatures that quack (submitted by D. Foot of San Pedro) and a bird that is native to most saloons (from June Morris of Arroyo Grande).
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PLATE REPLIES: Fortunately, not everyone’s license plate is as pugnacious as the one that says YU IODDA (“Why you, I ought to. . . .”), the line often uttered by Moe Howard as he threatened one or both of the other Stooges.
Alan Coles of Long Beach saw OH XQSME, while Rick Roswell says his own plate mildly declares IBG2DFR.
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PERMANENT PARKING: Noel Grace of Performance Plus Motorsports recently opened a business transforming automobiles into furniture. Though Grace is in Hamilton, Ohio, word has naturally reached car-crazy Southern California.
Grace said he is currently negotiating with an L.A. resident who wants a 1959 Cadillac and a 1957 Chevrolet for his basement. They can be made into such nice sofas, you know. A bit of disassembling here, some re-chroming and upholstering there, and suddenly you are sitting comfortably in the back one-third of a car, your legs hanging over the shiny rear bumper. Price of this customized sofa: about $5,000.
Grace added: “We can make the taillights work.”
miscelLAny:
In his book “My L.A.,” written half a century ago, columnist Matt Weinstock recounted the tale of an ad man who liked to break the silence of elevator rides with shocking statements. He would elicit a gasp, Weinstock said, by asking a fellow conspirator, “So when did you first learn your wife had a tattoo?” How times have changed. Today that line would more likely elicit a yawn, as the University of Michigan’s Madonna could tell you.
Steve Harvey can be reached by phone at (213) 237-7083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com and by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, Times Mirror Square, L.A. 90053.
