A Fitting Follow-Up to ‘Baywatch’

It’s one small step for Doug Schwartz, one giant step for Hooters.

As the executive producer of “Baywatch,” Schwartz knows a thing or two about Hooters. Now he’s turning his expertise into a cottage fries industry as one of the owners of the new Hooters restaurant in Santa Monica.

But this isn’t just any Hooters. This is the first Hooters in L.A., which can only mean one thing: “Hooters” the movie, followed by “Hooters” the TV series.

“Hooters will consume the world,” says Schwartz, who has the options, “just like ‘Baywatch’ did in 144 countries, in 23 languages, for 10 years.”

Excuse us, we think we hear our stomach rumbling. Or could that noise be the cheers and applause from healthy young women in very tight T-shirts greeting new arrivals to the restaurant? Oh, so that’s what they mean by Hooters.

It’s opening night at the theme restaurant some Angelenos have tried to keep out for years. Anti-Hooterians can take comfort in one thing--Hooters didn’t get to us until it put down stakes in 240 other locations, including Singapore. As goes Singapore . . .

We’ve already chatted with the token protester outside--professional gadfly Jerry Rubin. “I think most people are afraid that if you protest, you’re going to draw attention to Hooters. I don’t agree. Otherwise we wouldn’t protest nuclear weapons or guns or anything. It’s time to reclaim attention for our own good causes, one of them being the issue of sexism. Remember that?”

Hey, we’re hep cats. Inside, Schwartz is ready for his critics. He presents his secret weapon--Debbie Schwartz, his wife, Hooters co-owner and “Baywatch” writer-producer. And that’s not all.

“She’s [a marriage counselor] and a feminist, and I say that because it balances the picture,” says Doug.

Debbie Schwartz is wearing her love for Hooters on her sleeve. Actually, her neck, which is decorated with the word “Hooters” topping a theme dress concocted by “Baywatch” designer Linda Stokes.

“I love looking at the girls,” says Debbie. “They’re adorable. People are acting like we’re opening a brothel. This is a family restaurant with a kids’ menu.”

Take that. We didn’t spot any small citizens at this packed opening. The closest facsimile were the swarms of single L.A. guys and journalists mooching free drinks and wings. Director John Singleton, a Hooters vet from trips down South, explained why he’s a Hooters fan. “You want a quote? I’ll give you a quote. This is like Caligula with chicken wings.”

Huh?

“It’s great food and beautiful women. It’s like a Bacchanalia--sex, food and everything.” What’s everything? Kids’ menus, of course.

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Anyone who was on the lookout for Barenaked Ladies last week should have headed to Storyopolis, the children’s bookstore and illustrators’ art gallery on Robertson Boulevard. The band turned out Saturday for Storyopolis’ first official Grammy-week event--”A Celebration of Music in Art” featuring illustrations of musicians and their art.

Artists on hand included “Waiting to Exhale” and Kwanzaa postage stamp illustrator Synthia Saint James as well as Varnette Honeywood, who’s collaborating with Bill Cosby on his “Little Bill” series of children’s books. One of the artists is a Grammy nominee, thanks to Storyopolis, which referred producers of Oasis’ recent video, “All Around the World,” to Christian Clayton, who provided the art direction.

Lending a bit of star sheen was “Fresh Prince of Bel Air” graduate and chanteuse Tatiana Ali, who co-hosted the evening with Babyface protege John B. Ali is about to go on an 11-week tour with ‘N Sync, which kind of sets her apart from other Harvard freshmen. But Ali said she had a great fall semester in Cambridge after changing a few mega-minds about L.A. flash. “Walking in, if people did recognize me, they stayed a million miles away. But the word got out that I wasn’t so bad. Now it’s pretty normal.”

Irene Lacher’s Out & About column runs Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays on Page 2.