Look Out--He’s Going to Blow

Gesundheit Marinara: A New Mexico man has smashed the world record for blowing spaghetti out his nose with a 7 1/2-inch effort recognized by the Guinness Book of World Records.

Kevin Cole took the title at a December competition when he bested the former world champ by 2 inches. Cole, 24, said he uses his tongue to push the pasta to his nasal passages. “Then you just blow,” he said. “It’s just like blowing your nose.”

His noodle of choice is Ronzoni No. 8.

Bizarre New Year’s Mascot Debuts: New York may have the Times Square ball, but only Port Clinton, Ohio, has the falling New Year’s fish.

At the stroke of midnight on Dec. 31, an 18-foot fiberglass walleye dropped from a crane as revelers munched on walleye tacos, bagels and potato chips. The New Year’s mascot weighs 500 pounds and has eyes made from two glass casserole dishes embedded in its fiberglass flesh.

They Apparently Didn’t Predict His Arrest: A Virginia man who allegedly called a psychic hotline while burglarizing a home is now in police custody. He gave the psychic his real name.

Donors Wanted: Hotline, a political news service, reports that candidates for president in 2000 will need to raise $25 million in 1999. That’s $68,493 every day this year--or $2,854 an hour, 24 hours a day.

Robitussin’s Unfinished Symphony: Fed up with loud, constant coughing from the audience, the music director of the New York Philharmonic got up and walked offstage during a recent performance.

Kurt Masur said the noise was distracting his musicians from the Shostakovich Fifth Symphony. Several times during his career, Masur has begged his audience not to cough during performances.

AWOL Amphibian: A 15-pound cement frog that was kidnapped from the lawn of a Massachusetts home was returned recently by limousine, according to CNN and the Associated Press. The animal vanished last spring, then began sending postcards and photos to its owners from such locales as New York, Venice and Venezuela. The letters, all signed by “the frog,” promised the critter would be home for the holidays. Last month, the frog returned, no worse for the wear and dressed in a tiny straw hat.

Crimes of Fashion: Prison clothing could be Britain’s next fashion trend. The standard inmate blue-and-white-striped shirt is in such demand that a former prisoner in northern England was jailed again only 10 minutes after his release for stealing 25 shirts to sell to fashion retailers.

News McNuggets:

* Nearly 1,500 roses--the last one delivered by horse--failed to persuade an Italian woman to rescind her decision to break off an engagement.

* British embassy staff in Beijing played bridge and sipped fine wine as Red Guards stormed the ornate residence at the height of the Cultural Revolution in 1967, government records revealed.

* As more and more people are suing over dog bites, some insurance companies in Massachusetts are banning certain pets from the homes they insure. For instance, Quincy Mutual’s list of 20 prohibited dogs includes not only pit bulls and wolf hybrids, but also Dalmatians, which are considered “high strung” and likely to nip at people.

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Wide World of Weird is published on Sundays. Off-Kilter runs Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. Contributors: Paul D. Blumstein, A.J. Flick.