The Reluctant Tour--ist

Let’s get this settled right off: I’m not a group-tour type. Oh, I took one once in college, to Israel, and it was all right--although I wanted to kill nearly everyone, especially the whiners, by the time it was over a month later. But ever since, I’d traveled solo, or with a companion or two, and set my own budget-minded itinerary.

Until last September. Yielding to the pleas of my then-lover, who was too skittish to go to Turkey (remember “Midnight Express”?) without the safety of numbers, I’d signed up for the “Best of Turkey in 14 Days” tour, run by Rick Steves’ Europe Through the Back Door Inc. outfit in Edmonds, Wash. It was as close to an un-tour as I could find. The brochure promised that you would “carry your own bags,” stay in “quaint, sometimes creaky” hotels and “meet everyday Turks.”

Best of all, it was pretty inexpensive: $1,800, including lodging, two guides, tips and most meals--but not the overseas air fare, which cost $1,055--or a total of about $200 per day.

Alas, I lost the lover soon after I signed up, and I was too cheap to forfeit the $200 deposit. So I went on the tour. And the short review is: My worst fears were (mostly) realized, and I still had a great time.

It’s true, we were force-marched from site to site for hours in Istanbul, and were actually given only 30 minutes to sprint though the museum at Ephesus, in southwestern Turkey, arguably the world’s best-preserved classical city. We also spent seven snore-inducing, bladder-straining hours on our bus one day. And during the trip, a “group cold” cut a sneezing, hacking swath through many of us.

On the other hand, our affable, energetic and knowledgeable guide, retired Turkish businessman Mahmut Celik, literally opened doors normally closed to English speakers. We visited the homes of a construction painter, a bus driver, a ceramics maker and a former shepherd, and chatted for hours (Mahmut patiently translating) with their Turkish-speaking occupants. Mahmut’s enthusiasm was infectious, his grasp of history, culture and religion encyclopedic.

There also were some sybaritic interludes, such as a Turkish bath and an all-day Mediterranean cruise, to break up the pace. The food wasn’t the bland, institutional fare I had feared, but included many local dishes. And there wasn’t a whiner in our bunch. Even Mahmut conceded that was unusual.

As for spontaneity--a fragile charm of travel that I feared would be murdered by a group tour--you need look no further than our tour-mate Barry’s stolen undershorts. But I’m getting ahead of myself. . . .

At 5 p.m. Saturday, the tour group meets for the first time in Istanbul in the lobby of the modest Hotel Ayasofya (about $70 per room), after arriving independently. (The tour operator doesn’t book flights.) We number 24, average age about 50, white, fairly affluent. We are not innocents abroad: All except one has visited a foreign country before. ETBD attracts these types since Steves’ guidebook, also called “Europe Through the Back Door,” exalts adventuresome, get-to-know-the-natives travel. Besides Mahmut, we have an assistant guide, American David Fox, 30, on his first ETBD Turkey trip. He’s bright, but overshadowed by Mahmut.

A bit like schoolchildren, we docilely receive our rules over tea: Always stay with the group, be on time and never, never throw toilet paper into a Turkish toilet--plumbing is not one of the more accomplished local crafts.

Then we march off to view two standard Istanbul sights: the many-domed 17th century Blue Mosque and the Roman Hippodrome, site of ancient chariot races. We dine nearby at the cozy Rami Restaurant. Like many restaurants used by ETBD, it’s family-owned and serves local fare: eggplant and squash mezes (appetizers), beef dolmas (stuffed grape leaves) and baklava.

Jet-lagged, most of us retire by 10:30 p.m., only to be blasted out of bed at 5:45 a.m. by the muezzins’ piercing, prerecorded calls to prayer. This inescapable daily event, occurring in even the tiniest village, ensures that you will not waste daylight touring hours. And waste we don’t, after devouring the hotel’s typical Turkish breakfast (included in the tour) of feta cheese, tomatoes, olives, cucumbers, bread, yogurt, orange juice and tea or coffee.

We muster at 8:40 a.m.--a typical start time--and embark on one of our most grueling foot-tour sessions. We revisit the Hippodrome, descend into the 6th century Basilica Cistern and tromp through the mighty St. Sophia’s (once Christendom’s biggest church), the Museum of Turkish and Islamic Arts and the vast 15th century Topkapi Palace of the sultans. Elapsed time: seven hours, 50 minutes, including a tea break and a lunch.

Our most bizarre sight: The cistern, now unused, is littered with coins in the style of a wishing well, and fish swim among ancient pillars, serenaded by recorded classical music. What do the fish eat? Smiling, Mahmut replies with a shrug: “See, people feed coins to the fish. But they don’t seem to like them.” Throughout our tour, he dispenses hugs to the women and sly social commentary to all. Whenever we pass local men in cafes, drinking tea and playing backgammon, he announces portentously: “See, there are the men, doing the hard work.”

Mercifully, our second day in Istanbul is less busy, including a visit to the Grand Bazaar--more than 4,000 shops, the most dazzling visual fun you can have without special effects--topped by a relaxing 2 1/2-hour Bosporus strait cruise before we head for Istanbul’s train station and an overnight 225-mile trip to Ankara.

The Orient Express it isn’t. Smoke-filled air in the train’s cafe car turns back would-be party animals, cabins are spartan and often eccentrically heated (too hot or too cold) and many don’t sleep well--despite a nightcap of potent raki proffered by David in the train hallway. David “hangs with the crowd” but is clearly frustrated by Mahmut, who hogs the spotlight, gives him little to do and treats him a bit like a gofer.

In Ankara, the country’s sterile capital, we visit a Stalinesque memorial to modern Turkey’s founding father, Kemal Ataturk (1881-1938), and an exquisite archeological museum.

So far, we haven’t had much time to meet “everyday Turks,” but that changes when we arrive, after a four-hour bus trip, in the central Cappadocia region, a moonscape eerily dotted with wind-carved “fairy chimneys” of tufa, a porous volcanic rock.

The rest of our trip is by bus and foot. The next day, we meander through abandoned monasteries and frescoed churches carved into the “chimneys” centuries ago by Christians hiding from invaders, and visit a contemporary “chimney” home--which, with a TV and modern kitchen, evokes the Flintstones. Over apple tea served by the 50-ish mistress of the house, who is wrapped in a lace-trimmed head scarf, we learn that she and her family took 2 1/2 years to hand-chisel the home from tufa. Yes, there are easier ways to get a house, she allows, but she prefers the local tradition. The wife of a retired bus driver, she spends her days cultivating her vegetable plot and making handicrafts for sale. Her life seems hard, but she calls herself “middle class,” saying simply: “We have what we need.”

Such Q&A; home chats are the highlight of the tour, many of us later agree. In the tiny, donkey-powered hamlet of Belisirma (population 200), we learn that through the miracle of satellite TV, Monica Lewinsky is the talk of the town. Inside a black tent--albeit a bit of an ETBD sham since it’s no longer used as a home--the former occupant, Ahmet Uncu, now co-owner of a roadside gift shop, tells us how he yearns for his former “peaceful” life as a nomadic shepherd. Many of these hosts are ETBD regulars and are rewarded. In Belisirma, we are told, ETBD has helped finance a local school.

Six tour members even stay overnight with Turkish families in Cappadocia.

The rest of us meet that night at our hotel for a group discussion with the guides, designed as a kind of mid-tour critique. Overall, people report liking the tour. Pressed for criticism, Bob of Fairfax Station, Va., complains that for a trip billed as “minimal shopping,” we’ve done a lot. He’s right: In the preceding days, makers of pottery, carpets and kilim rugs have twinned their crafts demonstrations with sales pitches.

The problems, in the main, are resolved in the trip’s second half. In Konya, near the ornate tomb of whirling dervish founder Jelaluddin Rumi (1207-1273), Mahmut gives us a lively demonstration of how dervishes dance, pivoting on one foot, one arm raised to the sky. In Pamukkale we tour the 1,200-grave necropolis of ancient Hierapolis.

The end of our tour is capped by the spectacular ruins of the former classical Roman port of Ephesus on the Aegean. Ephesus is often compared to Pompeii for the completeness of its ruins.

In Kusadasi, Mahmut bids us goodbye and we board a boat for the Greek island of Samos--where we are booked into a hotel for the final night. That evening, 18 of us gather for dinner to enjoy one another’s company. Voluntarily.

Oh, and about Barry’s undershorts: In a Cappadocian village, we each carefully bagged our personal laundry and gave it to our hosts--only to find it returned in a single lot, spread all over the motel lobby. There were not many secrets left after we pawed through each other’s underwear. And Barry of Wailuku, Hawaii, was missing his undershorts. We later bought him a pair of Calvin Klein shorts, autographed them with scatological endearments and presented them at dinner, where he gamely modeled them on the spot.

Barry had no shame, and neither do I. Despite occasional irritations, I loved this trip. I may even consider taking another group tour.

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GUIDEBOOK

Turkey Trekking

Getting there: My tour began in Istanbul and ended on the Greek island of Samos, where most fly or take the ferry to Athens. Restricted air fares for LAX to Istanbul and returning Athens-LAX start at $667 on Swissair, British Airways, Lufthansa and KLM. All flights connect via a European city.

Tours: Europe Through the Back Door Inc., 120 4th Ave. N., P.O. Box 2009, Edmonds, WA 98020; telephone (425) 771-8303, fax (425) 771-0833. A 14-day tour costs $1,850, land only; no single supplement.

Other veteran Turkey tour companies include:

Abercrombie & Kent International, 1520 Kensington Road, Suite 212, Oak Brook, IL 60523; tel. (800) 323-7308. 15-day tour, $4,690 land only; $1,570 single supplement.

Pacha Tours, 1560 Broadway, New York, NY 10036; tel. (800) 722-4288. Western Turkey 17-day tours from $895 “super value” to $2,795 “deluxe” land only ($1,745-$3,980 with air from L.A.); $340-$995 single supplement.

For more information: Turkish Government Tourist Office, 821 United Nations Plaza, New York, NY 10017; tel. (212) 687-2194, fax (212) 599-7568, Internet https://www.turkey.org/turkey.