Jingle All the Way to Jail, Buddy

Talking Tree Thwarts Thieves: A singing Christmas tree tattled on two teenage burglary suspects in Louisiana, leaving the boys with backsides full of buckshot rather than handfuls of loot, police say.

After businessman Leon Wilson Sr. was robbed twice in one week, he set up a makeshift burglar alarm--a motion-activated toy Christmas tree his wife had perched near their store’s cash register.

When movement is detected, the tree’s eyes pop open, its mouth moves and it calls out “Merry Christmas, everybody” before singing “Jingle Bells.” Wilson set the toy near the door and stretched out on a couch in the back. Hours later, the singing tree went off and he spotted two burglars near the cash register, armed with a crowbar they allegedly used to pry open the door.

“They spotted me and bolted for the door and I started shooting, aiming low cause I didn’t want to kill them,” Wilson said. Baton Rouge police arrested the pair on burglary charges and released them to their parents.

31-Below-Zero Flavors: The St. Paul, Minn., Winter Carnival has chosen its official ice cream: a white, almond-flavored concoction called “Zero Visibility.” The official tasting ceremony includes a 5,000-pound ice cream sculpture featuring the likenesses of Gov. Jesse Ventura, Judy Garland and mythological woodsman Paul Bunyan.

It’s 3 p.m. and You Are Here: Japanese watchmaker Casio has come up with a new gadget for the outdoors enthusiast who has everything but a sense of direction: a wristwatch that pinpoints your position by satellite. Casio said the $500 timepiece goes on sale in June.

The Ideal Inmate: A former inmate was so impressed with a Kentucky jail that he sent the county jailer a thank-you note and a $200 check from his home in Germany.

“The treatment by the officers was absolutely flawless; their way of executing their job was very friendly, although very strict,” wrote Jost-Burkhard Anderhub, who served a three-day sentence for sending gun parts through the mail.

Money-Back Diploma: Thomas College, a four-year business school in Waterville, Maine, has announced it will guarantee any student who graduates with at least a 2.75 grade point average a job in his or her field of study. If the student can’t find work within six months of graduation, the school will assume monthly payments on any federally subsidized student loans for up to one year.

News McNuggets:

* Children under age 14 could be banned from watching bullfights in Madrid if a commission of experts decides the spectacle can lead to psychological problems later in life.

* Six inmates at the Marion County Jail in Georgia are accused of leaving the prison to buy dozens of beers at a nearby convenience store and returning behind bars to party.

* The New Rochelle, N.Y., police department has opened its first “satellite precinct,” just inside the entrance to an A&P; grocery store. Will the cops be enforcing the 15-items-or-less express checkout line? “If it turns into a dispute, then yes, but otherwise, no,” an officer said.

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