Cleanliness Is Next to Happiness
If you want to rekindle romance in your marriage this Valentine’s Day, the sweetest gift may be a little help around the house, according to a recent survey by the Soap and Detergent Assn. The study found that cleaning is a major source of friction between couples, and that this issue shouldn’t be swept under the rug.
Of the married and living-as-married men and women surveyed, almost half fight about cleaning. Their arguments range from who should do the cleaning (27%) to how frequently the cleaning should be done (24%).
The study also found that the sexes have a long way to go toward equality in the cleaning department: Women do 79% of the housework. The most common sources of friction are vacuuming and dusting around items instead of moving them (41%), failing to clean up after using the kitchen (39%) or bathroom (38%), and leaving streaks on windows and mirrors (24%).
“Men and women just don’t notice dirt the same way,” explains Sandra Beckwith, author of “Why Can’t a Man Be More Like a Woman.” “Women more often understand the value of a thorough cleaning to get rid of dirt and germs, while men see no problem in cutting corners to achieve the appearance of clean.”
The key to a cleaning compromise is for men and women to agree on their roles and responsibilities, she says. “Men need to add the word ‘volunteer’ to their vocabularies, and women need to lower their expectations a little. Even if it’s not the way a woman might do it, she needs to realize that at least the job is getting done.”
Beckwith offers the following hints for women: Communicate in a positive way about cleaning, be supportive of his cleaning efforts and demonstrate what good cleaning is. (Don’t assume your partner knows.) And finally, give him a reason to clean--a Valentine’s Day reward, perhaps?
