Finding the Right Church Takes More Than a Map

In this space over the last two Saturdays, a pair of pastors presented their contrasting views--one traditional, the other populist--on what a church should be, along with the merits of small and large congregations.

Gentlemen, the classic arguments of form vs. function will be with us forever. A question of more ultimate value is: Whose church are you building?

If we are building God’s kingdom, and not ours, the question becomes “What encouragement is the Holy Spirit speaking at this time to this church?” or “How can this part of the body of Christ bring glory to God?” This concern is paramount over numbers-crunching and methods arguments.

A more relevant question, however, for a seeker or first-time church attender, is “How can I find a good church?” After all, good churches come in all sizes--how can you recognize the right one?

Keep in mind you’ll want to search on two levels at the same time. There is both a spiritual dynamic and a practical dynamic to your quest. Begin by asking God to bless your efforts, and then keep one ear tuned in to God and the other ear to the ground. Be assured that if God knows when a sparrow falls he knows when you are checking out churches!

It’s the presence of his Holy Spirit that will let you see beyond the outward appearance and give you a sense of peace when you have arrived at the right place for you. So while God is doing his part, you can begin your part. Determine what is important at this stage in your life. Surveys show that preferences change over the years.

For example, denominational affiliation and the outward appearance of the church building have declined in importance. If you are like the majority of Southern Californians, you are more interested in adequate, close-in parking, easy access to a freeway exit, the quality of the nursery and an up-to-date sound system. For those in the parenting years, quality children’s programming is a must. Begin by putting these items on your shopping list. Ask people you know for recommendations; check out Web sites and gather all the information you can.

In addition, today’s churchgoers like multiple services so they can choose one that fits their busy schedules. For service opportunities, younger people like charity projects close to home and short-term missions projects; the older folk are more likely to support overseas missions and distant denominational headquarters. More items for your list.

Effective churches have healthy small groups and large, effective churches have more of them. That’s because the maximum number most people can relate to at one time is about 60. Those who are happy with their church are usually referring to this inner circle of friends and acquaintances. Groups that focus on practical helps are the most in demand--recovery groups, parenting groups, singles fellowships and the like. Add these to your list. Church size may play a role if you are looking for a specialized group.

Next consider how the pastor relates to the congregation. In churches under 200, the pastor usually tries to “pastor” everyone. To grow through the 200 barrier, the pastor must relinquish pastoral care to other caregivers. Adjust your search accordingly.

Not to be overlooked is, “Where is the church in its growth cycle?” I once pastored at a church that was 130 years old. Some wanted to restore the “golden days of the past” rather than look to the future. If you don’t want your father’s Oldsmobile, look for a more recently established church in which you can invest your time, talent and tithe. You’ll likely have more opportunity to participate in leadership and the future direction of the church. Add this item to your list and take a breather.

Visiting the church in person is an important step. At this time you’ll want to be aware of your observations, impressions and feelings. Were you greeted and did you feel welcome? Did further information on the church and its activities appeal to you? Was the name of God lifted up, and were you uplifted? Did anyone speak to you? Was there an opportunity to meet the pastor afterward? (Be aware that during the summer months, many pastors take vacation or study leave and may not be present on a given Sunday.)

After your visit, review your experience. Look for what attracted you, as well as what pushed you away.

As a general rule, God wants you to move toward what gives you life and away from the opposite feeling. Remember that the weekend worship service is not the litmus test of the church. It is your relationship within the small group that will ground you in the life of a church. For many, their first small-group experience is in the orientation class, where they can learn more about the church’s values, practices and priorities.

If this sounds complicated to you, you are not alone! One day our church office received a form from a prospective attender. The accompanying letter stated this same form was being sent to many churches. The purpose of the form was to gather information on the church’s programs, personnel and budget in a uniform fashion for comparison. Now that’s a new approach!

After having said all this, I must relate an experience when I visited a Marine Corps chapel at a remote mountain location. I entered the aging Quonset hut through a false Swiss-chalet front. A white Episcopal base commander played a mean guitar, while a black Baptist mess sergeant boldly led the singing. A Scandinavian Lutheran Navy chaplain conducted the service. There were no choices here--just Christians brought together by a mutual assignment. The worship was exceptional and the fellowship sweet.

Above all, keep in mind that the purpose of your search is not so much to find a church as it is to find God. God is the only one who can satisfy the heart’s desires. A good church--of any size or type--will help you find the God who loves you and will never leave you. Now that’s amazing grace!

Take heart in these words from Lamentations 3:25, God’s word to all generations: “The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him.”

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On Faith is a forum for Orange County clergy and others to offer their views on religious topics of general interest. Submissions, which will be published at the discretion of The Times and are subject to editing, should be delivered to Orange County religion page editor Jack Robinson.