Eternal Chat for Sportscaster, Wife

The late Jim Healy, a sportscaster with a wacky sense of humor, liked to employ the trademark phrase, “Is it true?” with some of his gossipy items. When he died five years ago this month, his widow, Pat, had the question inscribed on his tombstone. But the family joke didn’t stop there. When Pat died two years ago, her son Patrick had the word “Yes” chiseled on her marker.

“We didn’t want the usual maudlin stuff on the tombstones,” said Healy, a KNBC-TV Channel 4 reporter. “I also thought this would be a great way to show their closeness by the fact that they were having a conversation.”

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ZERO DOWN AND 5,000 PUFFS A YEAR: I guess the price of cigars has really gone up. Luckily, Bill Miller of Signal Hill noticed a store that will allow you to use them for a specified period (see photo).

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DUELING PRODUCTS: Burt Hechtman of Diamond Bar spotted a Corona merchant who would seem to specialize in weddings in the wild (see photo).

I phoned owner Gary DeFraene. He explained that he originally stocked only camping equipment. But when he moved from an industrial area to a shopping center several years ago, he figured he’d need a second sideline to help pay the rent.

“A friend of mine who is a tuxedo supplier suggested I try renting tuxedos,” DeFraene said. “He had lost a couple of accounts so it would be good for him, too.”

While most customers are interested in only one phase of his business, DeFraene said that a Riverside journalist did rent a tuxedo and buy some camping gear for a backpacking honeymoon.

Oh yes, before DeFraene got into the tuxedo biz, he tried one other sideline. For a while, his store sold camping equipment and baseball cards.

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LET’S HEAR IT FOR L.A.: While the two groups pushing for an NFL franchise in Los Angeles have united, one point is still unclear. If L.A. were granted a team, how would its touchdowns be celebrated in the Coliseum?

You’ll recall no doubt that co-promoter Mike Ovitz’s original plan was for mission bells to ring for each L.A. score in the Hacienda, his proposed Carson stadium.

But the entire Carson plan has been sacked. I am told mission bells will not ring in the Coliseum. No alternative plan has been announced. How about a stadium melody that would proudly say “L.A.” to people around the country?

The sound of ringing cell phones.

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ON THE OTHER HAND: Maybe the L.A. football backers should consult an expert on team spirit: Disney boss Michael Eisner. You’ll recall that Eisner once characterized ex-assistant Jeffrey Katzenberg as the “end of my pompom.” Eisner added: “I’m the cheerleader.”

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NO WHOPPER OF A DEAL: Remember the Burbank gas station owner who jokingly advertised bubble gum for 10 cents apiece, or 10 for $1.25?

Well, it reminded Bill Cohen of West Covina of another price choice that would discourage volume buying. And it’s no joke. Cohen told me to check out Burger King, which, sure enough, advertises chicken tenders at five pieces for 99 cents, or eight pieces for $1.89.

miscelLAny:

After the Burbank bubble gum piece appeared in this column, Jerry Feldner of Phoenix heard Paul Harvey mention it on his syndicated radio show. But the broadcaster neglected to say where he had read it. Oh well. This won’t be the first feud among Harveys.

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Steve Harvey can be reached by phone at (213) 237-7083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com and by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, Times Mirror Square, L.A. 90053.