HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO WHOM?

PREMISE: Dennis Rodman throws a birthday bash at L.A.’s Key Club (formerly Billboard Live) in honor of wife, “Baywatch” alum Carmen Electra, featuring a performance by the band Live.

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REALITY: Huh? Didn’t they recently announce they were filing for divorce? “Nah, everything’s cool,” assures Sir Dennis, sporting dual nose rings, omnipresent floppy hat and a coat of violet velvet. “We’re still together.” Well, not on this night. Ms. Electra--or is that Mrs. Rodman?--was spending her 27th birthday 2,300 miles away at the Billboard Latin Music Awards in Miami. The ex-Laker thanks the crowd on behalf of Carmen, who “can’t be here,” and apologizes for his 1 1/2-hour tardiness. Those who aren’t on the guest list pay $20 to be a part of this, uh, celebration, but, announces Live’s lead singer Ed Kowalczyk, “The first $150 we collect will go toward buying Dennis a new pair of shoes so he can get a job.” Not necessary, says the conspicuous 6-foot-7-inch host, who claims he’s “working [his] ass off. I got three movie deals.” Despite the packed house, FODs (Friends of Dennis) are hard to find.

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I’M ON THE LIST: “We were driving by, saw the billboard, parked in an illegal place and just ran in,” chortles Ellen DeGeneres, still tight with her Mrs., Anne Heche. Sure, they moved to Ojai to “get away from Hollywood,” but these two are definitely out--as in, on the town--and have been spotted at quite a few local shindigs recently. While DeG claims she and the Worm once “got cozy on the couch” on “The Tonight Show,” that isn’t the cause of their screeching Sunset Boulevard U-turn. “I’m, like, the biggest Live fan in the world,” she says. Ditto for Heche, who undulates nonstop during the set from a very visible balcony perch. Getting cozy on the downstairs VIP room couch is “Charmed’s” Alyssa Milano, with new husband Cinjun Tate, lead singer for Remy Zero. They, too, confess fealty to Live. “But, hey,” offers Tate, not wanting to dis the host, “he’s a great basketball player.”

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WITH 4 BEING BEST

Graze factor: No buffet, no-host bar, not even a cake! *

Celeb quotient: So-so, see above. * *

Bells and whistles: Decent band made it worth coming out. * *

Noteworthy: Aside from its dubious premise, not much. *