LAUGH LINES

Peace in Our Time: An agreement has been reached--NATO will stop the bombing in Yugoslavia. “And wherever else their bombs might land.” (Daily Scoop)

Peace in Our Time II: “War is over--we can finally send in the ground troops.” (Jon Stewart)

The Winner, by a Mouse: John F. Kennedy Jr. has written an article proposing that Americans be allowed to vote for president over the Internet. “And folks, if it happens, it will be a very close race between George W. Bush and Alyssa Milano.” (Conan O’Brien)

Go Figure: Former President George Bush skydived for the third time. “It may have been his third time to jump out of an airplane, but Bush actually began his dive about seven years ago.” (Fernando Carvajal)

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The Essential

David Letterman

What dumb guys think “La Vida Loca” is:

10. The Spanish version of “The Price Is Right.”

9. That creepy community in Florida where Grandma lives.

6. That evil Yugoslavian guy we’re bombing back to the Stone Age.

4. The bestselling mid-size car in its class.

3. What Al Gore isn’t living.

Got a joke? Send it to Laugh Lines by fax, (213) 237-0732, or mail, Southern California Living, Los Angeles Times, Times Mirror Square, Los Angeles, CA 90053.