Retro Therapy Catches Up to L.A.

Just when I thought I’d heard of every form of therapy offered in L.A., Bill Hines of Hermosa Beach sent me a listing for a course titled “Reverse Speech.”

The blurb, which appeared in a weekly newspaper, said, “Honesty, motivation and deep personal processes are revealed by playing recordings of your speech in reverse.”

Hines is unsure about the therapeutic benefits. But he theorizes that “reverse speech” might be a means of understanding politicians who do the opposite of what they say they’re going to do.

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CHARACTERS UNLIMITED: The National Talk Show Guest Registry, which began in Reseda, supplies names to TV producers for a fee. Its Web site has a category for “people with unique hobbies and interests,” including:

* Harley Spiller, whose “celebration of Chinese takeout food in America,” has grown to 6,000 takeout menus and restaurant shopping bags, not to mention one life-size deliveryman doll.

* Ron Regen, who was named (more or less) after Ronald Reagan and spent more than 20 years trying to meet him. He came close once. “I got to kiss Reagan’s dog on a tour of the White House,” he said.

* Mike Memphis, Elvis impersonator who has undergone seven operations to resemble his idol, including fat injections in his lips. “I am also a twin like Elvis was,” he told the guest registry. “I have a twin sister.”

* Ron Chappell, an expert on people with “elongated second toes,” who says that Marilyn Monroe, Sophia Loren and Sean Connery are in that club. Folklore, according to Chappell, holds that the elongated toe is a sign of sexual prowess, which drew this reaction from Jay Leno: “Now you’re going to have guys stuffing their socks with socks.” Takeout menus would also work.

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ENOUGH TO DRIVE YOU MAD: Marty Rauch of Santa Monica relayed a crime blotter item about two drivers who were involved in a fender bender. Motorist A handed his license to Motorist B. But instead of doing likewise, Motorist B climbed back into his car and zoomed off with two driver’s licenses. Let’s hope he gets mixed up the first time a cop pulls him over.

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IF YOU DON’T BELIEVE US, JUDGE FOR YOURSELF: Vanessa Voorzanger of L.A. noticed that a motel in Hollywood seems to invite suspicious prospective guests to make an inspection tour (see photo).

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SPEAKING OF ROAD RAGE: While driving near the San Diego Freeway, I came upon a marquee that said, “Freeway Clothing.” Given the explosive nature of L.A. roadways, I assume it has a fashion line in Kevlar (see photo).

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L.A. LOW-LIFE: The other day I was yakking about the legend of the ancient Lizard People of Los Angeles. I also had an item about four different productions titled “City of Angels” over the last quarter-century. So writer Hank Rosenfeld writes to point out that, in the 1970s, Sam Shepard set a play here and called it “Angel City.”

Oh, yes, some of the characters in the story metamorphose into lizards.

miscelLAny:

George Peck of Canoga Park sees nothing wrong with the “Pure Bread” dog ad that graced this column. “I have known several folks who owned ‘pure bread’ dogs,” he said. “After dumping in lots of dough, they still had pets that loafed all day.”

Steve Harvey can be reached by phone at (213) 237-7083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com and by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, Times Mirror Square, L.A. 90053.