LAUGH LINES

Trash Talk: According to news reports, about 25% of all trash in this country is recycled. “Of course, that number goes up exponentially in Hollywood, where they recycle everything.” (Ira Lawson)

On the Campaign Trail: Bob Dole is going to campaign for his wife, Elizabeth. “Yeah, he was soooo good at it last time.” (Daily Scoop)

The Business Beat: Procter & Gamble is laying off 15,000 workers worldwide. “That makes 15,000 more people who believe Procter & Gamble is aligned with the devil.” (Daily Scoop)

Police Beat: Police in Iowa are concerned that drinking and vandalism among Amish teenagers has gotten out of control. “Apparently, a lot of Amish kids have been drinking too much and then spray painting ‘Screw Ye’ on things.” (Conan O’Brien)

Selling Points: George Jones’ wrecked SUV is up for sale. “Half-full bottle of vodka found beside him sold separately.” (Bob Mills)

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Chris Pina’s Essential

List of the Day

Blues artists to avoid:

* Blind Lemon Pledge

* Muddy Feet

* Sonny Boy George

* Al “Mojo” Gore

* T-Bone Binks

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