Some People Sure Hatha Lot of Nerve

A weekly column about humans as they interact with things that beep, buzz, ring and download.

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Dear Button Pusher: Recently, I was attending a yoga class when a woman’s beeper kept going off. Finally, the instructor quietly asked her to turn it off. I happened to be next to the woman and watched as she fussed through her belongings and attempted to shut the beeper down. When she couldn’t, she huffily gathered her stuff and fled the class.

The following week, at another yoga class at a different location, a beeper went off and the instructor politely asked the owner to silence it. This time, the woman claimed she couldn’t.

Why do people buy potentially-annoying-to-others technologies and then not bother to learn how to operate them properly?

--CRAVING QUIET

Dear Craving: Thank nirvana that people do buy annoying-to-others technologies, otherwise half the people in America wouldn’t day trade tech stocks. And where would we be then? Which reminds me, excuse me for a moment.

OK, I’m back and the poorer for it. Anyway, who knows why people do these things. Why do people buy gym memberships every January and never show up? Why do people watch “7th Heaven”? These are the great unanswerable questions of our time.

But whatever the reason, it certainly doesn’t excuse the individual from learning the proper operation of the device. Your yoga teachers were right to go after the beeper offenders.

I’ve never been to nirvana, but I’m sure there are no beepers there.

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Dear Button Pusher: I went into a washroom at a new mall recently, and I was shocked to discover the influence of electronics. The sinks and toilets were operated by sensor. Why is this necessary?

--SENSOR SENSITIVE

Dear Sensitive: Where have you been? At an eight-track tape convention?

Yes, many public restrooms are making the switch to all-sensor restrooms because a few bad apples regularly forgot to turn off faucets and flush. Granted, the first time you encounter the sensors in action it can be a little disconcerting. But all things considered, that seems like a small price to pay for not having to touch anything in a public washroom.

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Dear Button Pusher: My parents, who are retired and live out of state, never initiate a phone call. They happily return the call if I call them first. It’s the same thing with letters, e-mails, whatever. I’ve joked with them a few times and reminded them the phone works both ways. They always say, “We know,” but still never call. My brother and two sisters complain about the same thing. What’s the deal?

--CALL ME

Dear Call Me: Send them an e-mail instructing them to call you. If that doesn’t work, tell them your problems with their apparent ban on first strikes. If that doesn’t work, you’re going to have to accept their phone-calling habits.

Fact of the Week: Finland has 5 million people and 3 million cell phones--a penetration rate of 60%, more than twice the U.S. level. (Source: the Washington Post).

For comments and questions about the human-machine relationship, please send e-mail to martin.miller@latimes.com or write to Button Pusher, Los Angeles Times, Times Mirror Square, Los Angeles, CA 90053, or fax to (213) 237-4888. Please include your name and city of residence in all correspondence.