$35,000 Anonymous Donation a Godsend for Korean Family

Just when all seemed bleak, an anonymous donor pledged $35,000 this week to pay for radiation therapy and past medical bills for a South Korean boy whose family brought him to the United States to find treatment for his rare cancer.

“We are overwhelmed that a total stranger, whose face we haven’t even seen, would do this,” said Su-Tea Kim, the boy’s father. “It’s an answer to our prayers.”

The commitment from the donor--described only as a longtime supporter of Childrens Hospital Los Angeles--enabled 10-year-old Dong-Uk to begin treatments with Dr. Robert S. Lavey, the hospital’s head of radiation oncology.

Lavey said he is hoping that the therapy over the next three weeks will shrink Dong-Uk’s tumor, which is about the size of an adult’s fist and is lodged between his kidneys.

The donation has saved the Kim family for now. They continue to face enormous medical, financial and cultural obstacles.

The boy was discharged from the hospital three weeks ago after two rounds of experimental treatments. He has neuroblastoma, a relatively rare form of childhood cancer that each year strikes about 100 children in South Korea and 600 youngsters in the United States.

The Kims have no health insurance and owed the hospital more than $22,000.

But the Kims, who came from Seoul seeking the best medical care, persisted in raising money for radiation therapy, the last defense against the cancer. Su-Tea Kim flew to Seoul, where he begged and borrowed $9,000 from relatives and friends. Late last month, the family paid $10,000 to the hospital.

Since then, the Kims have had to rely on ukji--the Korean version of chutzpah. Ukji is refusing to take no for an answer, Korean style. Koreans, who have lived much of the 20th century under foreign occupation, wars and military dictatorships, understand and even admire ukji. But outside the Korean culture, especially in the West, Korean ukji can appear pushy.

A sympathetic Korean American confessed that the Kims have been so relentless in their pursuit of help in Southern California that they have been seen as irritating and exasperating.

“Dong-Uk’s father is so wrapped up that he thinks if he tries enough, something will happen,” said one Korean American who has volunteered to help the family.

Local Korean Americans who have met the Kims say the cultural gap has hindered their struggle.

“We may share the same ethnicity, speak the same language and enjoy the same food, but we are different,” said one person. “They want everything right now. It’s been impossible to get across to them that in America, you can’t hurry the system--that people have to let the process work.”

For their part, the Kims say their inability to speak English has been agonizing.

“I’ve been kicking myself for not having studied English harder in college,” said Kim, an accountant. “When you depend on different persons to interpret for you, you cannot expect them to know all the details.”

Their saga began in New York, where the boy had five operations. Cancer specialists there gave him a few months to live. By the time the family arrived in Los Angeles late last fall, they had spent $110,000 from the sale of their Seoul home.

They got a boost in December after a story in The Times. Readers responded with money, food and clothing. Some gave rides, taking them grocery shopping, and others interpreted for them.

Cardinal Roger M. Mahony visited the Kims, who are Roman Catholics. Afterward, he sent a figurine of St. Mary and rosaries for each member of the family, with a handwritten note saying that they had been blessed by the pope.

“We thought all the problems would be solved after The Times ran the big story and the cardinal visited the family,” said the Rev. Chul-Woo Nam, a Southern Baptist minister who runs the Korean Christian Broadcasting Network--KCBN-FM (93.5).

Thus far, the Kims said, they have received about $10,000 in cash donations.

Two weeks ago, at the family’s urging, KCBN set up a trust fund for Dong-Uk, with a network board member contributing the first $2,000.

Korean churches also have stepped forward to help. Parishioners at St. Gregory Korean Apostolate Church in Koreatown gave $2,000 to the Kims at Christmas, and have been holding lunch sales and carwashes to raise money.

Every morning, a church member picks up the Kims and takes them to 7 a.m. Mass, during which prayers are offered for the child, said Father Noel Ryan. The Kims are then driven to the KCBN offices, where they have lunch.

One Korean American who has spent many hours with the Kims said, “Through this case, I’ve learned how difficult it is to help people. When you deal with people in a desperate situation, you can never do enough.”

Su-Tea Kim says he is grateful for all that people have done, and especially for the care his son has received at the hospital.

But one thing bothers him.

“Because we were unable to keep our promise about paying all the bills, I fear hospital officials think we are bad people,” he said. “That pains me. I have paid the hospital $15,000--everything we could spare after living expenses.”

Charles S. Kim, who met the Kims at the hospital where his 5-year-old son, Patric, is being treated for leukemia, is the latest among a half-dozen volunteer interpreters who have helped the family communicate with hospital officials.

“If I had the money, I would give [it to] them,” he said. “I am probably the only one who really understands what they are going through because I have a child who has cancer too.”

Charles Kim worries that the biggest fund-raising challenge is yet to come.

Should the radiation treatments work, the boy will need surgery to remove the tumor. That part of the treatment is expected to cost about $100,000. How can anyone, he wondered, raise $100,000 in three weeks?

Su-Tea Kim worries about that too. For now, he only wants to thank the anonymous donor.

“I wish he could just tell us his name, so that my wife and I would cherish his name in our hearts,” he said.

“It’s the kind of generosity and involvement that allows our city and society to function,” said Lavey. “It is very generous for people to look out for those who are in need and to give them a chance to have their life restored.”