LAUGH LINES

White House Woes: Amid rumors that they’ve separated comes the news that Hillary and Bill Clinton have separated before, only to come back together. “Sure, they’ll stay together. If only to avoid having to testify against each other in more Whitewater trials.” (Daily Scoop)

On the Campaign Trail: Lamar Alexander is running for president. “His campaign slogan is ‘Lamar Alexander: He couldn’t get an intern if he tried.’ ” (Jay Leno)

Off the Field: The FBI cleared UCLA football players in a probe of possible point shaving. “In a little-noticed aspect of the case, the FBI also cleared the Los Angeles Clippers of point shaving after the Feds determined the Clippers just plain stink.” (Mark Wheeler)

Another Round: To explain the controversial decision in the Lewis-Holyfield fight, promoter Don King said, “Saying what it should be does not say what it was, and what it was supposed to be.” “King then reportedly clarified his statement, saying, ‘It could have been, if it had been, but it wasn’t, because it’s not,’ adding, ‘Only in America,’ and then, as far as we could tell, reciting the lyrics to ‘Louie, Louie.’ ” (Jon Stewart)

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