High Pay and Perks Can Bind Some to a Dissatisfying Job

Danny would leave his high-powered downtown law job in a second--if it weren’t for the high-powered paycheck to which he’s grown accustomed.

Like thousands of other people trapped by what are commonly called “golden handcuffs,” Danny, who asked that his real name not be used, entered his law practice thinking it would be a good-paying job that would also be personally satisfying.

Instead, what he found was a good-paying job with long hours, almost nothing that made him feel like he was contributing to the world around him, and apparently no way out. After all, he had law school loans to repay and his elderly mother to support.

“I wish I could do something more redeeming,” he said. “But I’m kind of like a single father in that I’m responsible for supporting someone else. I can’t afford to leave.”

And like so many others caught up in a life that looks golden to outsiders but is less than gilded in reality, Danny says he can’t imagine a way out.

Clinical psychologist Leslie Reisner, who specializes in treating people with job-related stress, said she has seen the number of patients like Danny grow by about 25% over the last few years. The strong economy, she said, gives people the flexibility to wonder about other opportunities.

But the seeds of their discontent are often as old as their jobs. As it was with Danny, the sense of dissatisfaction sometimes emerges when an employee is just beginning a new career.

“The problem is that when you’re just getting started you’re young and naive, you don’t recognize the trap,” said Sheila Garb, president of Santa Monica-based Garb & Associates Legal Placement.

The likeliest candidates for the golden-handcuffs disease are high achievers, the type of people who have learned to identify themselves by their job and believe “I am what I do,” Reisner said. They find it even harder emotionally to leave prestigious positions than others less invested in their work.

So when is it time to bite the bullet and get out?

“When the pain of the current situation outweighs the anticipated pain,” Reisner said. “When this is so bad that nothing can be worse than this, that’s when people make the decision to leave.”

Reisner outlined a process for identifying a bad situation at work and coming to terms with it.

First, recognize that there is a problem with your job--and not with depression, alcoholism or another troubling condition.

Next, determine the risks of making a change, including the legitimate fear of the unknown.

Reisner suggests doing a cost-benefit analysis, asking yourself: “What are the consequences of leaving my job? What are the costs of staying in the current position?”

Garb, who talks to unhappy lawyers every day, said some clients are versatile, talented or lucky enough to make changes, stay in the practice of law and make good money.

Others come to the conclusion that they are willing to trade their fancy lifestyles for a better life and work at a smaller firm or find an in-house position that is usually less lucrative than working at a law firm.

But those who want to parlay their legal credentials into a sexy job elsewhere are often in for a shock.

“Some people go to law school and become studio heads, but for most people who are practicing law, it’s pretty difficult to use their law degree for another industry,” Garb said.

That makes the decision to leave the profession even more difficult for many who have become accustomed to holding a prestigious position.

After weighing the risks, Reisner leads her patients through a realistic assessment of their fears, so they can decide what they might have to do to overcome them.

Afraid of not having the proper skills to undertake a new job? Find the courses that teach those skills. Money worries? It’s often possible to downscale financially or call upon a spouse’s moneymaking talents to compensate.

People who undergo a major career change also have to confront the fact that such a shift may severely test their personal relationships.

“That opens up a whole Pandora’s box,” Reisner said. “Very often, people don’t want to go down that path. They don’t want to know.”

At some point, an unhappy employee has to decide whether to take the risk to change.

“There’s a lot between the practical steps one has to take and the emotional step of taking the leap,” Reisner said. “People can be stuck there for five months or five years.”

Reisner used as examples two of her patients; details about their cases have been altered to maintain their privacy.

In one case, a successful 50-year-old attorney had been practicing law for 15 unhappy years. Eventually, he became depressed and faced a growing reliance on marijuana and alcohol.

What he really wanted to do, Reisner said, was write. But with a wife who had quit her job as a certified public accountant to rear their three children, he felt trapped.

Even his sizable savings account, built up after years of making $200,000 to $500,000 a year, offered little consolation, since the man was afraid of spending his safety cushion.

“He knew he was unhappy the whole time he was practicing law, but he didn’t think there was anything he could do about it,” Reisner said. “But he got to the point where the pain due to depression and drinking was greater than the pain of the unknown. That’s when he made his decision to change careers.”

Eventually, his wife went back to work at her old accounting firm, and he overcame his fear of calling on his savings to take time off and go to film school.

In another instance, a 40-year-old anesthesiologist really wanted to do pharmaceutical research. But she had been enormously successful, with an annual income of about $400,000, and her actor husband was resistant to making the lifestyle change that a job switch would entail.

When she told him about her unhappiness, her husband pressured her to stay with her current job, reminding her of her years in medical school and her booming career.

Eventually, the sense that she was not spending enough time with her child made her switch.

“She loves it. She probably makes one-fifth of what she used to and doesn’t regret the years she practiced medicine because it helps her understand drugs from that perspective,” Reisner said.

In this case, however, the woman’s marriage has suffered, because her husband was unwilling to step up his own work efforts. She still believes the career change was worth it, however, because she is doing something she loves and is able to be with her child more.

Reisner said victims of golden handcuffs are not limited to the very wealthy.

“I’ve seen it with people making $75,000, and they go down to $60,000 and it’s a big change,” she said. “Any decrease can be stressful, and if you’re the primary breadwinner, you’re going to think twice. It often takes something catastrophic for people to make the change.

“Be honest with yourself and ask yourself if maintaining the status quo is as easy and safe as you think it is,” Reisner said. “If it’s not, taking the risk is well worth it.”