Operator, I’d Like to Honk My Horn

You could really send someone around the bend with a new remote control device called the Valet CarCom. It’s the kind of thing Batman, or maybe the Joker, would have.

The device allows you to control many of your car’s major functions by telephone. By dialing an 800 number and entering the correct security codes, you can pop the trunk, disable the starter, unlock the doors, turn on the heater, and honk the horn, if you like.

In short, you can do just about anything except get your remote to drive the car to the store, shop for groceries, and cook dinner. (That’s what butlers like Alfred and henchmen are for.) The device, which is about the size of a deck of cards and is installed in your car’s engine, can even be activated from an airplane telephone at 35,000 feet.

The CarCom costs about $299. In addition, there’s an installation and activation charge, and a $24 annual fee.

For more information, call company headquarters in Vista, Calif., at (760) 598-6200 or visit the Web site at https://www.directed.com.