Art Inspired by a Lot of Hot Air

If Van Gogh Had Owned a Dryer . . . : Canadian artist Bill Gardner can’t argue with critics who dismiss his work as pure fluff--because that’s exactly what it is.

Gardner is making a name for himself with prized portraits and still-lifes made exclusively of lint from his clothes dryer. The 42-year-old Calgary artist’s works include uncanny lint likenesses of Britain’s Queen Elizabeth and O.J. Simpson.

Oreos and Bugs: A car full of Oreo cookies was delivered to an 11-year-old Tennessee girl last week as her prize for finding a 1-in-8-million Oreo cookie stamped with the word “car” while packing her lunch a few weeks ago.

“This is so cool,” Caitlin Hedberg said from behind the wheel of the 1999 navy blue VW New Beetle, once it was cleared of the 43,600 cookies. Her parents plan to sell the car and put the money away for Caitlin’s future.

Motorist Gets an Earful: An outbreak of road rage turned into a heavyweight clash when a Florida truck driver bit off a chunk of another motorist’s ear as they slugged it out in a parking lot.

“It wasn’t just a little bit [of ear],” a deputy said. “Mike Tyson would be impressed.”

Mystery Menu: As a punishment for bad behavior in the dining hall, disruptive inmates at Pennsylvania’s Northampton County Prison will soon be served “food loaf,” an unusual blend of leftovers mixed with flour and baked.

Prison cooks practiced the concoction last week, creating a breakfast loaf consisting of prunes, eggs, toast, butter, hash browns, bacon and orange juice.

Dog Smog: Authorities are blaming dog feces for contributing to Mexico City’s infamous air pollution and are appealing to pet owners for help.

According to an official report, the city’s 1.2 million dogs drop about 120,000 tons of feces a year in streets and parks. If not scooped up, dried particulates from the waste enter the air and combine with other pollutants to pose health risks ranging from gastrointestinal disease and salmonella to chronic bronchitis and allergies.

Jail Fashion: A sheriff in western Kansas wants his prisoners to look the part, so he’s outfitted them in black-and-white striped uniforms with old-fashioned little round convict caps.

“The first two guys who went to court in the stripes were just beaming when they came back,” the lawman reported. “They said, ‘Sheriff, we love ‘em. They make us look professional.’ ”

Will Capt. Steubing Be on Board?: Cruise-ship life is a mystery to millions of Americans, judging from the questions they ask U.S. travel agents.

“Does the crew go home at night?” is among the most frequent queries, according to a survey by the American Society of Travel Agents.

Another is: “If I don’t like it, can I get off?”

News McNuggets:

* A former Malaysian zookeeper has claimed a world record for staying with 250 poisonous snakes in a tiny cubicle for 35 days.

* A German man has been fined for selling peppermint sweets claiming they were Viagra sexual potency pills, police said.

* A rabbi who caused a storm in Britain with his book “Kosher Sex” is now peddling a new guide: “Dating Secrets of the Ten Commandments.”

* Wide World of Weird is published on Sundays. Off-Kilter runs Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays.