Name of Team Isn’t Cincinnati Orange-Yellows
Dmitri Young did his Dennis Rodman impression Sunday in Sarasota, Fla. The Cincinnati Reds’ outfielder showed up with his close-cut hair and goatee dyed orange-yellow.
He admits to an identity crisis.
“I would like to say it’s strawberry-orangy blond,” he said. “I’ve been thinking about it for about the last two or 2 1/2 weeks because after the game when you go to sign [autographs], people come up to me and say, ‘Greg Vaughn, will you sign this?’ ”
Said coach Ken Griffey: “He’d better get 59 rebounds, bat .320 and hit 29,000 homers. When you look like that, you’d better do something other than just look like that.”
Trivia time: What were the ring names of these champions: Rocco Barbella, Arnold Cream and Guglielmo Papaleo?
Wrong, Woody: Woody Paige of the Denver Post, writing before Monday night’s NCAA basketball championship game:
“UConn has about as much chance of beating Duke as Steven Spielberg and Howard Stern collaborating on a movie called ‘Saving Private Parts.’ ”
He’s still flying: Reader George Kiseda, commenting on the around-the-world balloonists setting a record just because they went 20 days on hot air:
“Have we forgotten Don King? He’s gone at least 20 years on nothing but hot air.”
Say it slowly: Tom FitzGerald in the San Francisco Chronicle: “If you thought the old Poulan Weedeater Bowl was an unwieldy name, what about [Sunday’s] auto race at DeSoto Speedway in Bradenton, Fla.?
“The ASA/AC-Delco Series Jani King Commercial Cleaning Service 300. While you’re saying it, somebody could complete a lap.”
Cleaner act: Chicago Cub first baseman Mark Grace, on the changing health habits of major league players:
“When I first came to big league camp, you’d go bum a chew or smoke. Now you bum carrot sticks and metric shakes.”
Deep dirt: After an exchange of elbows that caused Hakeem Olajuwon to be ejected from Houston’s recent game against Toronto, Olajuwon said of instigator Charles Oakley:
“It’s not just that he’s dirty. His heart is dirty.”
Faltering franchise: Steve Aschburner of the Minneapolis Star Tribune, on the slumping Boston Celtics:
“They are an aimless embarrassment to all those banners hanging overhead and the various former Celtics--Kevin McHale, Bob Cousy, Tom Heinsohn, Larry Bird, Robert Parish--who stop by the FleetCenter from time to time and have to watch such slop.”
Trivia answer: Rocky Graziano, Jersey Joe Walcott and Willie Pep.
And finally: Rocket star Charles Barkley, on the NBA’s Eastern Conference:
“You take Miami and Indiana and Orlando out of the East and you might as well blow the rest of them up. The West is brutal. We don’t even want to talk about the Eastern Conference, they’re so bad.”