Not Much Appeals Inside the Locker Room

From towel-swatting and toilet-flushing to communal dressing and crying the blues, every locker room tells a story. Heidi Duckler, artistic director of locally based Collage Dance Theatre, endeavors to tell hers in “Locker Rumors,” a 75-minute dance-theater piece that premiered Thursday in the women’s locker room at Los Angeles Valley College.

This rambling romp, with an insipid text by Duckler’s brother Garrick (spouted by an overacting Coach, Tobe Sexton) held none of the angst of the locker room ostracism in Stephen King’s “Carrie,” nor did it fully capture the camaraderie, athletic obsession or striving for bodily perfection in today’s overachieving culture.

Nine dancers--Mona Jean Cedar, Sufi Ertur, Vince Hederman, Holly Johnston, Susan Kawashima, Ting-Chi Li, Eli Nelson, Andrew Ogilvie and Gerardo Romero--struggled to convey emotion in the grim recesses of the space: Executing a limited repertory of moves, they bounced balls and used them as humorous stand-ins for various parts of the human anatomy; they slunk catlike on top of the locker rows; they padded over, under and around wooden benches; and they sidled in varying couple combinations. Tellingly, a terpsichorean scrimmage proved lackluster and lethargic.

The work did feature Harry Gilbert’s intriguing score, however, with his tantalizing live cello playing, a terrycloth-draped Franny McCartney belting vocalise, and a tuxedo-clad Bill Roper blowing an amazing tuba. Unnecessarily distracting: the self-conscious handful of students from North Hollywood High School preening in mirrors. Frank McKown’s lighting design worked wonders in the otherwise depressing room, which, surprisingly, was nearly sweat-free.

* Collage Dance Theatre’s “Locker Rumors” repeats tonight at 8 and Sunday at 3 p.m., Los Angeles Valley College, 5800 Fulton Avenue, Van Nuys, Women’s P.E. Building Locker Room. $12-$20. (818) 784-8669.