LAUGH LINES
Hold Your Fire: Jesse Jackson negotiated the release of three American POWs being held in Yugoslavia. “Jesse is now flying to Malibu to negotiate the Pamela Lee-Tommy Lee reconciliation.” (Jay Leno)
Survey Says: A poll found that sexual satisfaction is more important to Americans than job satisfaction. “Unless, of course, you’re Bill Clinton and can put the two together.” (Gary Easley)
On the Big Screen: The No. 1 movie at the box office last week was “Entrapment,” starring Sean Connery and Catherine Zeta-Jones as his love interest. He’s 68 and she’s 29. “And you thought the special effects in ‘The Matrix’ were unbelievable.” (Steve Voldseth)
Off the Net: A teenager is in trouble for bidding more than $1 million for merchandise on the EBay Web site. “I understand his parents told him that, from now on, the Internet is strictly for porn.” (Rudolph J. Cecera)
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The Daily Scoop Essential
List of the Day
Now that there’s a proposal to require driving tests for people older than 75, here are some signs that your driving skills have diminished:
* Your car starts getting passed by the Amish.
* Even Robby Knievel’s too scared to ride shotgun with you.
* You start reacting to stoplights even Steve Austin can’t see.
* You wonder why there are two center dividers.
Send us a line: Got a joke? Send it to Laugh Lines by fax, (213) 237-0732, or mail, Southern California Living, Los Angeles Times, Times Mirror Square, Los Angeles, CA 90053.