Criminal Mind Discovers Outpatient Surgery

In the police log of a Westside newspaper, Paula Van Gelder of L.A. spotted this item:

“Suspect entered medical center and attempted to charge surgery on fraudulent credit card account. Suspect fled.”

Apparently the suspect wasn’t there for foot surgery.

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ATTENTION, STUDENT WEIGHTLIFTERS: Faithful reader Van Gelder also contributed an ad that underscored Southern California’s seeming obsession with the body beautiful (see accompanying).

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GRITTY CITY: “L.A. Noir,” a book of quotes edited by Steve Gilbar, is what he calls “a post-Chandler portrait of L.A. in the words of the fictional private eyes, cops, shamuses and detectives who’ve prowled its mean streets.”

Here, for example, is the narrator in Michael Nava’s “Goldenboy”:

“Between the freeway and the Hollywood Hills the feathery light of early morning poured into the basin and it truly did seem, at that moment, to be the habitation of angels. The great palms lifted their shaggy heads like a race of ancient, benevolent animals.”

Talk about physiques!

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THEY HAVE FEELINGS TOO? Having received a flier that said, “Compliment your checks,” Jay Thompson responds: “Good checks! Nice checks! Pretty checks!” (see accompanying).

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NO COMPLIMENTS, PLEASE! You may recall the mention here of the story about the hotel that sent out thank-you notes to the homes of couples who had stayed there. Some spouses who had not been guests were understandably suspicious.

Well, Clifford Stern dug up a 1976 Times story about a somewhat similar incident. In this case, a Chicago hotel mistakenly mailed out thank-you notes to members of the general population, not guests. That gesture really stirred suspicions.

The hotel, as you might have guessed, received several angry phone calls. The only person who wasn’t upset was a woman who already had filed for divorce. She wanted more details to use as evidence against her husband.

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MORE “L.A. NOIR”: “Sunset Boulevard was a time exposure photo of taillights and frozen billboards advertising the latest beauty product and cop-buddy flick. Above the strip the Chateau Marmont frowned on the traffic and late-night antics, as Marianna thought, Isn’t that where they found Belushi dead?” (“Bird Dog,” by Philip Reed)

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READ THE FINE PRINT: The Memorial Day weekend is a big occasion for yard sales. John Cunningham sent along a snapshot from one such event a year ago in which a resident created some ersatz glamour (see photo).

Cunningham stakes out real celebrity pavement, being the host/producer of “Driveways of the Rich & Famous,” a public access TV show.

Surely you are familiar with his memorable interview with Madonna. The interview in which her contribution consisted of one dramatic line: “Hey, you’re on my driveway.”

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MORE “L.A. NOIR”: From Walter Mosley’s “A Little Yellow Dog”:

“The cops found Andrew Brown trying to limp away from the school. He was the definition of a loser in L.A.: A man without a car.”

I hope he at least had a driveway.

miscelLAny:

On a visit to San Diego, Jay Berman of Manhattan Beach came upon Croce’s Restaurant and Nightclub, named for singer Jim Croce (“Time in a Bottle”), who died in a plane crash in 1973. It’s run by his widow, Ingrid, who also has published a cookbook. The title: “Thyme in a Bottle.”

Steve Harvey can be reached by phone at (213) 237-7083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com and by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, Times Mirror Square, L.A. 90053.