LAUGH LINES

L.A. Not in the Finals: “For the first time since scientists began tracking air quality in the mid-1970s, Houston has supplanted Los Angeles as the smog capital of America. Houston will now go on to face New Jersey in the finals.” (Colin Quinn)

Say What?: “Bob Dole told an audience in Sparks, Nev., that Eisenhower was someone you could trust. ‘How important that little four-letter word is to everyone.’ He’s now being treated for what his doctors have diagnosed as a mild case of infectious Quayleitis.” (Bob Mills)

Have Patience: Johnny Cash was taken to a Nashville hospital suffering from pneumonia. “Thanks to an error on his admission form, the hospital staff spent several unsuccessful hours trying to locate a patient named Sue.” (Mills) *

Chris Pina

What Audience Members Were

Overheard Saying After

the Bradley-Gore Face-Off

“Boy, I haven’t slept like that in years.”

“Which one was Gore?”

“Which one was Bradley?”

“They looked so lifelike.”

“They’re running for what again?”

“I wish I was that charismatic.”

Got a joke? Send it to Laugh Lines by fax, (213) 237-0732, or mail, Southern California Living, Los Angeles Times, Times Mirror Square, Los Angeles, CA 90053.