LAUGH LINES
Really, Al?: “Vice President Al Gore said he would have preferred to run for the Democratic presidential nomination unopposed, but that the challenge from Bill Bradley has been good for him. Yeah, the same way the challenge of playing the Yankees was good for the Atlanta Braves.” (Jerry Perisho)
Really, David?: “ ‘Baywatch’ star David Hasselhoff has quit the show. Hasselhoff said he wants to pursue other roles, spend more time with his family and stop sucking in his gut.” (Alex Kaseberg)
Where Danger Lies: “Last year, over 400,000 injuries occurred in bed. Are you surprised by that? If you put 400,000 people in a bed, somebody is going to get injured.” (Jay Leno)
*
The Essential
David Letterman
Top Ways George W. Bush
Can Squander His Lead
10. Develop rockin’ alter ego, Chris W. Gaines.
7. Kiss baby at campaign stop; refuse to give it back.
5. Promise to cut spending by using leftover “From the Desk of President Bush” note pads.
2. New campaign slogan: “It’s time for a president who’s only broken seven of the 10 commandments.”
Got a joke? Send it to Laugh Lines by fax, (213) 237-0732, or mail, Southern California Living, Los Angeles Times, Times Mirror Square, Los Angeles, CA 90053.
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