LAUGH LINES
Politics, Hillary-Style: “Hillary Rodham Clinton returned a $1,000 contribution for her Senate race because the check was linked to organized crime in Bulgaria. Mrs. Clinton didn’t want to lose the votes of New York mobsters by taking money from foreign criminals who can’t vote for her anyway.” (Gary Greenfield)
They Got Game: “They’re planning a new Bill Gates version of ‘Monopoly.’ If you pick the ‘Go to Jail’ card, you cannot pass ‘Go’ or collect $200 million.” (Gary Easley)
What’s in a Name?: “George W. Bush couldn’t name the leaders of Pakistan, India and Chechnya in a pop quiz. Democrats didn’t gloat. They’re terrified someone will ask Hillary to name the manager of the New York Yankees.” (Argus Hamilton)
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The Essential David Letterman
Top Slogans for Kankakee, Ill.
9. “Ask about our staggering unemployment rate.”
5. “Birthplace of Don MacKinnon! You know, the guy who runs MacKinnon Lumber on Elm Street.”
4. “Abe Lincoln slept here by accident.”
3. “We’ve got that Kank-do spirit.”
1. “Freeway-close to Joliet.”
Got a joke? Send it to Laugh Lines by fax, (213) 237-0732, or mail, Southern California Living, Los Angeles Times, Times Mirror Square, Los Angeles, CA 90053.
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