LAUGH LINES
All the Same: “George W. Bush is starting to take a stand on some of the issues. He said he will not meet with gay Republicans. He said he is against same-sex marriages. But then so is Bill Clinton. In fact, Clinton is not only against same-sex marriages, he’s against sex with the same person you’re married to.” (Jay Leno)
Fowl Play: “President Clinton got the Thanksgiving holiday off to a traditional start last week by granting a pardon to the national turkey. And since he was with his family for the holidays, Al Gore accepted it in absentia.” (Ira Lawson)
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The Essential
David Letterman
Top Good Things
About Dating Satan
10. You can sleep in on Sunday mornings.
9. Endearing way he looks in mirror, worrying that his horns are receding.
8. Leaves love notes scrawled in pig’s blood on your pillow.
7. His hot breath makes quick work of drying your nail polish.
3. Fun to tease him about how goofy he looks in those Dirt Devil commercials.
2. When he’s being “too clingy,” just wave a cross at him and he’ll disappear.
1. He ain’t no “scrub.”
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