Maybe He Was Calling a Duesenberg
Peggy Inman was cruising down a street in Banning when she “saw a man driving a beautifully restored Ford Model A roadster.” Don’t conclude that the Model A driver was stuck in the past. Said Inman: “He was talking on a cell phone.”
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COFFEE, TEA OR TRAP? A Reuters dispatch from Down Under says that a woman who found a rat sitting on her lap during a flight out of L.A. will be offered undisclosed compensation by Air New Zealand.
The story said that the flight crew spotted the rodent after takeoff but “it eluded capture by hiding in the rear of the aircraft.”
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THE REAL L.A.: If you’re like me, you’ve grown tired of hearing outsiders talk about the so-called artificiality of life in L.A., the idea that everything’s fake in La-La Land. I’ve collected evidence to the contrary (see accompanying).
Bernie and Renee Hershey came across a menu listing some 100% chicken. George Bethell found a place that sells milk from honest-to-goodness cows. And Stanley Caldwell sent along a notice about real cherries (please, note the danger).
Finally, Marina Weixelbraun spotted an ad for a live nanny (the most efficient type, most experts agree).
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CORPORATE PLANT ROTATION: DirecTV has been fighting an internal problem: unauthorized possession of potted plants. Could be a movie of the week.
Harper’s magazine leaked a memo that the satellite television company sent to its office workers in El Segundo, reminding them who qualifies for company-owned shrubbery. Such perks go only to “the position of vice president and above and executive assistant to a vice president and above,” the memo said.
Should “holders of plants lose their eligibility”--i.e., get demoted--”they must surrender the company plant(s) to the successor of the respective positions.”
How widespread has the plant poaching been?
“A recent inventory . . . determined that many company-owned plants will need to be moved from their present location,” the memo lamented.
Let’s hope that DirecTV doesn’t have to resort to satellite surveillance.
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CELEBRATING SIG-ALERTS: I always find it interesting when companies post commuter nightmare themes on freeway billboards that will be read by motorists who are having commuter nightmares.
The latest examples of this strange genre:
* “Add 1,000 minutes to your commute” (from a cell phone company ad).
* “Some ideas on what to do if you ever get out of traffic” (from a telephone company).
* “You’ve waited longer at traffic lights” (from a bank).
* “Gets you to places billboards don’t know exist” (from a car maker).
Then, again, I can understand the placement of this ad by a rival of the Golden State: “Utah: Take next offramp and head east. And don’t stop until you run out of anxiety.”
Or you can rat out to New Zealand.
miscelLAny:
Writer Steve Herbert recently saw an old episode of “Dragnet” that followed a group of young men applying to join the LAPD. One of them was played by O.J. Simpson. His character did not get the job.
Steve Harvey can be reached by phone at (213) 237-7083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com and by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, Times Mirror Square, L.A. 90053.
