Say ‘Aaah’ : Booster Shots : Victorian Pointers on Curbing Vulgar Germs

Straight out of stuffy old London comes the little book of “Don’t: A Manual of Mistakes & Improprieties More or Less Prevalent in Conduct and Speech.” First published circa 1880, this little gem was remarkably prescient in its advice concerning public health. Considering that 100 years ago our predecessors knew almost nothing of bacteria or how diseases spread and had no real respect for hand-washing, this book is remarkably--if tediously--on point.

Here are a few of our favorite entries:

* “Don’t blow your nose in the presence of others if you can possibly avoid it. Above all things, don’t blow your nose with your fingers.” (Right-o, no disposable tissues in those days.)

* “Men in good health do not need to expectorate. Spitting on the floor anywhere is inexcusable. No one should discharge matter of this kind in public places except into vessels provided to receive it.” Agreed. Please pass the spittoon.

Although I’m glad we got that straightened out, it does seem the fussy old English take their saliva phobia a bit too far when it comes to wetting envelopes. “Don’t fasten an envelope by moistening the mucilage with your lips,” the manual admonishes. The authors prefer wax seals, thank you. And from now on we’re taking the hand cleaner when we get the mail.

Two Studies Toast Benefits of Drinking

Jolly well. In spite of the fact that our little book, “Don’t,” cautions readers not to frequent barrooms (“Tippling is not only vulgar and disreputable, but injurious to health”), what they didn’t know in 1880 was that alcohol--in moderation--also has a few health benefits. Here are two more just revealed.

A Finnish study published recently in the American Journal of Epidemiology found that men who drank beer were less likely to develop kidney stones than those who opted for other libations. Men who drank one bottle of beer a day reduced their risk of developing stones by 40% compared with those who didn’t.

Meanwhile, across the Atlantic in Boston, researchers followed 22,000 male doctors for 13 years and found that those who drank two to six alcoholic beverages a week reduced by up to 79% their risk of sudden cardiac death.

However, the report, published in the journal Circulation last month, said that once you exceed two drinks a day, risk of sudden cardiac death starts to rise. Now, this is the Health section. No one here, nor in the medical literature, is saying to go out and get tanked. Too much alcohol consumption leads to increased risk of some cancers, liver disease, accidents and alcoholism. And these studies were conducted on men only and shouldn’t be generalized to women. Besides, tippling is--how did it go?--vulgar and disreputable.

Hear, hear. Ease Your Kids’ Fear--Make a Bathroom Stop

Excess fluid consumption leads us directly to the third biggest fear among school-age children: wetting their pants. According to a survey of 2,000 children, this problem ranks just behind losing a parent and going blind as the most dreaded event. Any parent who has ever packed a young child off with the required change of clothes in a plastic bag knows that daytime “accidents” are an occupational hazard for this age group. Distracted by their friends, the fancy dress-ups or the Lego city they’re building, visiting the bathroom ranks pretty darn low on the priority list. So children put off going until . . . whoops!

Postponing a potty stop is the most common cause of accidents. Others include excessive laughter; stress such as the birth of a sibling; urinary tract infections; and irritations from soap or bubble bath.

As parents and kids gear up for school, here are a few tips from the Mayo Clinic: Suggest a bathroom visit every two hours. Urge kids to go before they leave the house. Be sure teachers enforce bathroom visits if children show signs of needing to go. If an accident happens, don’t punish or shame them. Remember, they’re already mortified.

Then offer a little perspective: There are many things worse than wet pants.