LAUGH LINES
Peace Offering: Arab groups are upset that a planned exhibit at Disney World was going to call Jerusalem Israel’s capital. Disney says it’s changed the wording. “Jerusalem will simply be called ‘the Holiest Place on Earth.’ ” (Daily Scoop)
Think About It: Police in Ohio charged a teenager with driving a buggy while drunk. “The great thing about being an Amish criminal is you can never get the electric chair. They just make you sit in the sun.” (Jay Leno)
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The Essential
David Letterman
Announcements that would cause a panic at the Country Music Awards:
10. “And now, the Brooks and Dunn swimsuit competition!”
9. “We’s all out of moonshine!”
8. “Accepting the award for Travis Tritt . . . Roberto Benigni.”
7. “Belt buckles weighing in excess of 200 pounds are not allowed in auditorium.”
6. “Please say hello to the next mayor of Nashville--Hillary Clinton.”
5. “And now, the Puff Daddy remix of ‘The Gambler.’ ”
2. “If you have eaten one of Willie Nelson’s brownies, go immediately to the freak-out tent.”
Got a joke? Send it to Laugh Lines by fax, (213) 237-0732, or mail, Southern California Living, Los Angeles Times, Times Mirror Square, Los Angeles, CA 90053.
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