LAUGH LINES
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Double Trouble: “Dennis Rodman and Carmen Electra are thinking of getting married again. They may tie the knot on that new TV show ‘Who Wants to Make Another Mistake?’ ” (Andrew Wisot)
Off-Limits: “A condom was found in a 127-year-old time capsule. . . . This discovery proves that even as far back as 1873, no one wanted to use them.” (Ira Lawson)
Saga Continues: “The fight over Elian Gonzalez intensifies. Will he be returned to Cuba? Will there be violence? Will there be a TV movie before summer?” (Daily Scoop)
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The Essential David Letterman
Top Dumb Tax Tips
From Accountant
10. “Don’t file a W-2 form unless your name begins with ‘W.’ ”
6. “Hire yourself as an employee, fire yourself, sue yourself for discrimination, deduct court costs.”
5. “Report $1 billion income so IRS will think you’re some sort of big shot.”
4. “For ‘charitable contributions,’ list $9 you spent on last Kevin Costner movie.”
1. “Remember you can’t spell ‘taxes’ without ‘CPA.’ ”
Got a joke? Send it to Laugh Lines by fax, (213) 237-0732, or mail, Southern California Living, Los Angeles Times, Times Mirror Square, Los Angeles, CA 90053.
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