LAUGH LINES

Double Trouble: "Dennis Rodman and Carmen Electra are thinking of getting married again. They may tie the knot on that new TV show 'Who Wants to Make Another Mistake?' " (Andrew Wisot)

Off-Limits: "A condom was found in a 127-year-old time capsule. . . . This discovery proves that even as far back as 1873, no one wanted to use them." (Ira Lawson)

Saga Continues: "The fight over Elian Gonzalez intensifies. Will he be returned to Cuba? Will there be violence? Will there be a TV movie before summer?" (Daily Scoop)

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The Essential David Letterman

Top Dumb Tax Tips

From Accountant

10. "Don't file a W-2 form unless your name begins with 'W.' "

6. "Hire yourself as an employee, fire yourself, sue yourself for discrimination, deduct court costs."

5. "Report $1 billion income so IRS will think you're some sort of big shot."

4. "For 'charitable contributions,' list $9 you spent on last Kevin Costner movie."

1. "Remember you can't spell 'taxes' without 'CPA.' "

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