LAUGH LINES

Forgive and Forget: “Hillary Clinton recently spent a couple of days as a principal at a New York area high school. It would be great having Hillary as your principal. If you get caught cheating, she’d forgive you.” (Jay Leno)

A Little Guest Work: “Next month . . . President Clinton and the first lady will hold a White House conference on raising teenagers. President Clinton hopes to come away from this event with a greater awareness of teenagers’ needs . . . and a few phone numbers.” (Colin Quinn)

Unable to Deliver: “Elian’s Miami family says they would have sent him back to Cuba by now, but for some reason their FedEx guy has stopped coming to the house.” (Craig Kilborn)

Barely News: “Darva Conger (the bride from ‘Who Wants to Marry a Multi-Millionaire?’) might pose nude in Playboy. How sad is that going to be for her ex, Rick Rockwell? . . . ‘Hey, Rick, how did your wife look naked?’ . . . ‘I don’t know.’ . . . ‘Well, here, look at Page 139!’ ” (Andrew Wisot)

In the Know: “George W. Bush told voters he believes students ought to be tested on what they know before they get promoted. After this speech, he got a phone call from Yale. They’re sending him back to the third grade.” (Argus Hamilton)

Got a joke? Send it to Laugh Lines by fax, (213) 237-0732, or mail, Southern California Living, Los Angeles Times, Times Mirror Square, Los Angeles, CA 90053.