Teen Stress Can Be Deadly

According to a study by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention in Atlanta, suicide is the third-leading cause of death among those ages 15 to 24 (after accidents and homicides). The Web site cited the leading cause of suicide in this age group to be untreated depression or overwhelming stress.

ELAINE LEADER

Psychotherapist, executive director of Teen Line, Cedars Sinai Medical Center

Teens experience a great deal of stress that begins in early adolescence. The stress comes from biological changes. As they enter middle school and high school, a number of factors come into play. There’s the maturational drive to separate from parents and family. There’s competition and the need to be accepted by peers. Being like everyone else is very important to them.

At the same time, there is a tremendous amount of pressure on academics, especially for the college-bound teens.

Even filling out college applications is stressful. These kids are applying to eight or 10 schools. It’s tremendously stressful. And if they are into athletics, there are the scholarships to worry about and the expectations from coaches.

But the biggest impact is what is going on at home. I’m seeing a boy who is 13. His parents divorced two years ago. He’s very depressed. His father is pressuring him to spend more time with him, and his mom doesn’t want him to spend time with his dad. That can tear a kid apart.

Because of the adolescent stage of development, teens’ moods are emotionally volatile. One minute, they’re happy; the next, they’re down in the dumps. I think that they may not understand that this is part of development; they only know they are flooded with feelings. Some try to numb it out by taking drugs or ditching school.

When a teen doesn’t feel attractive or has difficulty with body image, then that’s when we see girls, around 13 or 14, develop eating disorders--anorexia or bulimia.

There are also mental illnesses that are incipient in childhood but don’t manifest themselves until adolescence. We won’t see teens with bipolar disorder or severe depression.

A depressed teenager will give off warning signs. What you have to look for is anything in the extreme--behavior beyond moodiness. Some examples: When a teen holes himself up in a room and doesn’t speak to anyone, then he or she should get therapy. If an A student starts getting Ds and Fs, eating habits change, sleeping disorders develop or the teen becomes irritable--these are warning signs of depression. When a teen gives away their most prized possession, that’s like writing a will.

The most important thing for parents to do is listen, listen, listen. Not tell them what to do, but listen, read between the lines. If a teen says I had a fight with my best friend, a parent shouldn’t say, “It will be all right.” The parent should say, “Tell me about it; how do you feel?” Most importantly, never minimize or put down a teenager who says he or she is in love, because they are. They have very strong feelings.

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ADAM HOFFMAN

17, junior, Beverly Hills High School

Ididn’t get pressure from home, it was only “do the best you can.” But I put pressure on myself because I wanted to do well. I saw my older sister excel and now she’s at UC Berkeley. Last semester, I was taking three advanced placement classes, math honors, advanced Spanish and more. I had to drop one AP class because it was too much stress. I was irritable, small things set me off; I was impatient with my friends. I couldn’t sleep. Often, if I had finals or grades were coming up, I would get severe headaches and stomach aches.

Right now, I have a 4.4 high school GPA and a 4.5 UC GPA. I put so much pressure on myself to do well because I have had to overcome learning disabilities with visual perception. For example, when I take down a phone number, I’ll end up switching two of the numbers.

For a long time, I had not done well. But when I started high school, I realized doing well feels good. Seeing all As on your report card makes you feel great.

These days, you hear a lot about how hard it is to get into college because there is so much competition. I have friends who aren’t getting in to the schools they wanted to get into. I decided that I don’t want to be limited. I’m not going to apply to Ivy League schools because that’s too much pressure.

College also looks at extracurricular activities. I play guitar, I volunteer for Teen Line and in my freshman and sophomore years, I played three sports. I didn’t take any sports this year because I wanted to focus on academics. This is the year that colleges look at your grades.

About a month ago, my friend died in a car accident and that changed my whole perspective on school. It hit me then that you can die at any second, so school is not the most important thing in your life. Yes, it is important to do well, but there are other things to life. You have to stop and smell the roses, seize the day. I decided that I want to do well in school, but I want to have a social life too. I’ve changed my mentality. It’s not worth killing myself in school. It’s just as important to hang out with friends and family.

Essentially, high school is preparing you for life, and life is not only about grades. I just came back from skiing in Mammoth and I didn’t think about school at all and it felt great. Now, I have to start reviewing for the AP exams in May. I don’t know if I will start getting headaches and stomach aches then, but I said to myself that I’m going to shoot for Bs in two of my classes and not A’s and that has taken a lot of pressure off of me.