Judaism and Gay Marriage

Re “Compromise That Goes Too Far,” April 23.

Rabbi Aron B. Tendler rather dangerously cites the will of the majority to support a moral argument against gay marriage. If two-thirds of the California electorate decreed that dog food be served in schools every Monday morning, would he also take that position? What is his position on burning witches or slavery when such was the majority view? Nevertheless, his ostensible attitude (unfortunately disguised by rhetorical overkill) that the Reform movement needs to be more sensitive to the Orthodox merits attention. Perhaps Reform Judaism should push gay civil marriage, at least as a first step. It is important that Reform and Orthodox (as well as other permutations) remain members of the same “family.” After all, the Orthodox sustain Reform Judaism, which does not sustain itself. Today’s Reform Jews are mostly the grandchildren of yesterday’s Orthodox.

In its quest to be all-inclusive, Reform Judaism accommodates everyone except other Jews who are more observant. I would be willing to attend a gay Jewish wedding as long as it is done with taste and reverence, something sadly lacking in most heterosexual weddings. But given that Jewish dietary laws probably will not be observed at the reception, my family will go hungry at the party. This really is a pity.

BILL FRIEDMAN

Studio City

*

As a Jewish woman, wife and mother, I am appalled and saddened by [Tendler’s] comments. I am the proud mother of three wonderful and cherished children, one of whom is gay. My husband and I wish for each of them to be accepted and respected as the contributing and valuable people they are.

Unlike the good rabbi, I know that my God loves and cherishes my children equally and does not make a judgment on who may or may not love another human being fully and completely. I am so proud of the strides my faith is making in accepting and valuing all human beings.

LYNETTE SPERBER

Studio City