Late Night One-Liners
While the ratings and coverage for the convention have declined, the GOP gathering is a hot topic for late night comedians. Some observations from talk show monologues:
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ON CONVENTION RATINGS
Craig Kilborn: “When asked how they felt about the convention, Republicans across the country said, ‘Why the hell is Dennis Miller hosting Monday Night Football?”’
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ON THE REPUBLICAN TICKET
David Letterman: “Dick Cheney brings experience, steadiness and foreign policy skills to the ticket. ‘And I’m thinking, What the hell is Bush bringing?”’
Bill Maher: “Republicans “praised” the choice, saying that Cheney adds something to the campaign that Bush desperately needs: adult supervision.”
Jay Leno: !This is what the Republicans are calling the ‘Wiz-ard of Oz’ ticket. Cheney needs a heart, Bush needs a brain.”
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ON THE DEATH PENALTY
Leno: “During his speech last night, Gen. Colin Powell called for action to reduce the number of people in prison in this country. And George Bush said, ‘Hey, I’m executing them as fast as I can. What do you want me to do?”’
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ON THE MILITARY
Maher: “Dole saluted the veterans. McCain gave a speech on military strength. Then Georgie Bush was talking about his favorite scene from Stripes.”
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ON GOP DIVERSITY
Leno: “Today is the start of the Republican convention in Phila-delphia! Otherwise known as ‘The Million White Man March.”’
Letterman: “Last night, they had a Native American speak, they had a Latin American speak, they had an African American speak, and a Jewish guy spoke. And I’m thinking, ‘That’s great, but it’s a foursome you’ll never see at a Republican country club.”’
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* Compiled by JOHN TYRRELL / Los Angeles Times
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